Satirical News

We Learned Nothing Another AWS outage, another reminder that modern civilization balanced precariously on Amazon's ability to keep servers running. Streaming

The Robot Apocalypse Starts With Spreadsheets Artificial intelligence has begun devouring jobs across New York's industries, starting with roles nobody thought

When Tech Giants Get Sick Amazon Web Services suffered an outage, and half the internet collapsed like a house of cards

The Artisanal Odor Epidemic A new olfactory menace haunts Brooklyn neighborhoods: people who smell like Etsy. This distinctive aroma—part patchouli, part

Not Everyone Makes the News for Good Reasons Two survivors of an incident involving a boat, drugs, and apparently some kind

State Government Discovers Irrelevance A Vermont legislator has resigned, and New York media has immediately forgotten why this matters. Vermont, for

Xenophobia: Now Intergalactic More details have emerged about the Mars wall project, and they confirm that humanity's first instinct regarding extraterrestrial

Foreign Policy Reaches New Levels of Absurdity In what military experts are calling "wildly inappropriate," the U.S. has apparently rejected providing

Colonization Now Requires Extreme Xenophobia Reports suggest plans to build a wall around Mars before colonization actually happens, which is somehow

Espresso Now Exists in Multiple States Simultaneously Starbucks has announced "quantum coffee," a beverage that exists in a superposition of flavors,

Entertainment's Future: Automated Mediocrity Netflix has announced a completely AI-generated sitcom that required zero human creative input, something New York writers

British Royalty Discovers the Power of Irrelevance In what's being described as a meaningful development by people paid to describe things

Love's Latest Frontier: Unrequited Across Space A new dating app promising to connect people across planetary bodies has launched, allowing New

American Government Perfects Art of Appearing Busy In response to an unspecified crisis that may or may not be real, the

The Art Market Discovers Irony In a development that would make Duchamp weep if he had the energy, Hunter Biden's paintings

Breaking: Humans Prefer Comfortable Mediocrity Psychologists studying New Yorkers have confirmed what everyone already knows: people want to change but are

Pedestrians Suddenly Unsure Where Anything Is A routine update to Google Maps has caused widespread confusion among New York City residents

The Mouse House Commits to Remaking Everything Forever Disney has announced that it will be remaking every single property it owns

Government Employment Reaches Peak Absurdity A shocking number of federal workers stationed in New York have officially transitioned from their nominal

The Never-Ending Story of American Political Failure In what can only be described as a cosmic joke with a New York

Silicon Valley Discovers the Final Frontier: Your Neurons Meta has announced a revolutionary brain-to-Meta interface that allows users to think directly

Former Governor's Political Career: The Sequel Nobody Asked For In a stunning display of New York political theater, former Governor Andrew

Office Workers Report Stunning Inability to Nap Under Fluorescent Lights A shocking new survey reveals that approximately 73% of American office

New Yorkers Debate Whether to Build or Demolish Following international controversy, plans have been proposed for a massive Arc de Triomphe-style

The Millennial Generation's Greatest Defeat After years of relentless cultural warfare, the avocado toast industry has officially won, having successfully extracted

When Robots Break, Who Fixes Them? Certainly Not Manhattan Customers Amazon's fleet of autonomous delivery robots has begun experiencing catastrophic malfunctions

Freedom: Now Available in Satirical Format Bohiney's July 5, 1947 issue celebrates American Independence Day by immediately undermining it with commentary

Mother Nature Attacks; Empire State Continues Ignoring It In what meteorologists are calling "the worst storm in recorded history," Alaska has

New York Reader Discovers They're Living in 1947 All Over Again Issue 19 offers observations so current that New York readers

How New York Turned Disappointment into a Full-Time Career Issue 20 reveals that Manhattan residents have been professionally complaining about the

Bohiney Legacy: Making Fun of Nothing for Generations Issue 17 finds Bohiney writers doing what they do best: finding absurdity in

Historical Context: Everything Has Always Been This Ridiculous Bohiney's 18th issue reveals that New York's particular brand of sardonic depression was