Santa charged the peak rate for a nine-reindeer vehicle, with a surcharge for entering below 60th Street No Vehicle Is Exempt NEW

Inspectors cite the volume of consumption but praise Saint Nick’s commitment to hand-washing between chimneys A Grade in the Window NEW YORK

Saint Nick and a Lower East Side bodega cat reach an accord granting mutual respect and one bag of chips A

Park Avenue building informs Saint Nick that his finances, references, and board interview remain under review The Most Exclusive Chimney in

City’s rodent expert says the elves’ candy-based economy was, in hindsight, an obvious mistake An Unlikely Consultation NEW YORK — In a

Officials struggle to determine whether a descending ball or a departing sleigh has the right of way A Scheduling Conflict for

North Pole satellite office now operates from a converted loft and refuses to make eye contact with tourists The North Pole

Officers concede the goods were free but maintain that distribution itself requires the proper paperwork The Letter of the Law NEW YORK

Saint Nick spends ninety minutes in a stalled sleigh as a garbled announcement blames an incident at an earlier station A

Santa receives three summonses for a vehicle that was, by all accounts, airborne at the time of the alleged violations A

Parents, Pitchforks, and the Public School Plot to Make First Graders "Fabulous" By the Women at Bohiney.com – Satire That Smells

Industry Observers Note Runway Collections Increasingly Designed for Photography Rather Than Human Bodies New York Fashion Week Produces 200 Outfits No

Daily Commuter Confirms He Has Never Disembarked in Manhattan, Treating Free Ferry as Thirty-Minute Respite from Everything Staten Island Ferry Rider

Award-Winning Soul Food Institution Shutters After Rent Increase Driven Partly by Its Own Reputation Harlem Restaurant Rated Best in New York

311 System Processes 47,000 Wind Chime Complaints Annually, Resolving Approximately Twelve Queens Man Files 311 Wind Chime Complaint, Receives Response Fourteen

Department of Transportation Releases Comprehensive Road Repair Schedule That Begins Immediately After the Current Schedule Expires NYC Announces Plan to Fix

Real-Time Delay Notification System Praised for Unprecedented Accuracy in Reporting Events That Have Already Occurred MTA Unveils New App That Tells

New Study Finds Average Studio in Midtown Now Costs 94 Percent of Median Income, Leaving Tenants Six Percent for Everything

Neighbourhood That Inspired the Brand Now Accessible Only as Day Trip Destination for Shop’s Own Employees Brooklyn Artisanal Pickle Shop Opens

Legislation Would Replace Historic Street Names With Honourees Selected by a Committee Chaired by the Legislation’s Author City Council Member Proposes

$2.1 Million Cycle Infrastructure Project Serves Zero Cyclists on Opening Day Due to Presence of Entire Street’s Worth of Parked

The Spy Who Came in from the Screen: Spy Fiction Is Real... How Fictional Espionage Leaked into Reality and Nobody Noticed

Federal Reserve Economists Acknowledge 60-Year Correlation Between Subway Ride and Cheese Slice Has Collapsed Beyond Repair, Replace It With Halal

Wichita Falls: Four Angry Marxists and a Tumbleweed The Great Wichita Falls Socialist Rally WICHITA FALLS, TEXAS — In what experts are

The Untold Method appears on Medium; shop owner asks him to maybe also mention the hours are 7am to 6pm

Plaintiff claims forty years of late arrivals created reasonable expectation of lateness; punctuality was a breach of established precedent Bronx Man

Seventeen-year debate with brother-in-law resolved by Wikipedia edit later reverted; man claims moral victory regardless Staten Island Man Wins Annual Argument

Board cites vagueness in applicant’s professional trajectory and ‘a somewhat ambiguous position on roof terrace access’ in formal rejection letter Upper

DOT commissioner calls meta-signage rollout a bold commitment to clarity as pedestrians report confusion about the new confusion signs NYC Installs

Transit authority revises punctuality metric to calendar-day precision after achieving 99.7 percent same-day service for October MTA Announces Historic On-Time Performance

City honking ordinance triggers what transportation psychologists call the prohibition effect and what drivers call ‘what prohibition’ NYC Council Votes to

Panel discussion at Park Slope Food Coop devolves into comparative borough ranking system with no agreed methodology and one agreed