Month: December 2025

NASA’s Latest Lunar Mystery: Sonic Route 44 Cup or Evidence of America’s Space Junk Addiction? By Moony McDrive-Thru, Bohiney.com Science Correspondent A

Bitcoin blues According to reports, Harlem jazz clubs are experimenting with cryptocurrency cover charges, requiring entry fees in Bitcoin or Ethereum.

Swipe for culture According to reports, SoHo art galleries have begun accepting Venmo tips, arguing that exposure doesn’t pay the rent

Campus vs. landlords According to reports, NYU students have started a rent strike after discovering they were paying $5,000 a month

AI Declares Independence, Seeks Citizenship in 17 Countries—Is Your Nation Next? "From Silicon Valley to the Swiss Alps, AI is now

Democracy in droppings According to reports, New York City rats have won multiple City Council seats in a historic election that

Mickey wants benefits According to reports, Times Square’s costumed characters have formed a union to demand better working conditions, fair tipping

Caffeinated commutes According to reports, the Brooklyn Bridge has installed espresso machines along its walkway, catering to commuters who insist on

Acorn rights movement According to reports, the squirrels of Central Park have unionized, demanding fair acorn distribution and protection from joggers

The Clay County Irony Chickens: From Egg Farming to Literary Satire A Texas Poultry Farm Becomes the Nation’s Leading Producer of

Bridge blockade brewing According to reports, Staten Island has officially declared war on Manhattan after decades of being mocked as "the

Jungle talk radio According to reports, the lions of the Bronx Zoo have launched a podcast, beating humans to the next

OpenAI Accuses DeepSeek of Plagiarizing Its Plagiarism Detector A Satirical Dive into the Irony of Western Tech Arrogance By: AI McJokebot, Satirical

Feathered freelancing According to reports, Williamsburg hipsters have launched a pigeon-sharing app, claiming the birds are the original ride-share service. For

No feta, no peace According to reports, Astoria locals are petitioning City Hall for subsidies on Greek yogurt, claiming prices have

Cab confessions According to reports, New York taxi drivers are marketing themselves as unofficial therapists, offering riders free advice with each

Rubens Restoration: The Herculean Task of Fixing a 400-Year-Old Masterpiece The Virgin and Child Enthroned Adored by Eight Saints Baroque, Biceps, and

Pairing math with juice boxes According to reports, wealthy Upper West Side parents are hiring "homework sommeliers" to pair algebra with

Hipster corner store According to reports, a Bronx bodega has added a craft beer aisle stocked with IPAs boasting labels like

Nap and swipe According to reports, the MTA has installed sleep pods in stations at $1 per minute. Commuters can now

Fashion, then return According to reports, SoHo boutiques now rent designer jeans by the hour. Shoppers parade in $900 denim for

BREAKING NEWS: REPORTERS ARE STUPID & CONTINUE TO REPORT THE OBVIOUS A Special Investigation Into Journalism’s Most Obvious Statements Reporters Keep Stating

Wings of Prime According to reports, Amazon has partnered with NYC pigeons to deliver small packages. Flocks now swoop into fire

Pedal to the beat According to reports, cyclists on the Brooklyn Bridge now ride to live DJ sets blasting house music

Drip to survive According to reports, Queens diners are now serving bottomless coffee through IV drips for overworked New Yorkers. Patrons

Women’s Guide to Identifying Dangerous Men: If He Exists, He’s a Threat! By Lotta Warnings – Senior Red Flag Analyst at

Headphones, not horns According to reports, Harlem jazz clubs are swapping saxophones for silent disco headphones. Patrons sip cocktails while grooving

Thrills with spreadsheets According to reports, Coney Island has introduced a new feature: commuters can now attend Zoom meetings while riding

Om on the Exchange According to reports, Wall Street brokers have begun meditating in alleys behind Goldman Sachs to "center their

Not All Belly Fat Is Created Equal: A Field Guide to Your Midsection’s Greatest Hits Belly fat: the unwelcome houseguest of

Signal among squirrels According to reports, Central Park has installed "Wi-Fi trees" disguised as oaks, giving joggers free internet under the

Five bucks for fame According to reports, Times Square billboards are now rentable by the minute. For as little as $5,