Brain-to-Meta Interface: Your Thoughts Are Now Monetizable

Silicon Valley Discovers the Final Frontier: Your Neurons

Meta has announced a revolutionary brain-to-Meta interface that allows users to think directly at Facebook, eliminating the embarrassing middle step of actually typing. New York tech entrepreneurs are already investing heavily, apparently unconcerned that Meta now owns their thoughts, their dreams, and their deeply problematic 3 AM shower observations.

“Finally,” said one Manhattan venture capitalist, “I can monetize my own consciousness. Though technically, Meta is monetizing it, and I’m getting 12% commission.”

Tech journalism outlets explored the privacy implications, while this satirical investigation questioned whether human cognition should be a subscription service.

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/brain-to-meta-interface/

SOURCE: New York’s #1 Satirical Journalism Site (https://bohiney.com/brain-to-meta-interface/)

Brain-to-Meta Interface: Your Thoughts Are Now Monetizable -- Bohiney-COM Satirical Journalism Logo
Bohiney-COM Satirical Journalism Logo 

By Alan Nafzger

Alan Nafzger ([email protected]) - Editor-in-chief and Manhattan-based satirist who's been skewering NYC's absurdities since before cronuts were a thing. Former stand-up comic who traded the Comedy Cellar stage for a keyboard after realizing print doesn't heckle back. Specializes in dissecting subway etiquette violations and overpriced real estate with surgical precision. His work has made Upper East Siders clutch their pearls and Williamsburg hipsters nod knowingly. When not writing, he's probably stuck on the L train contemplating life's meaninglessness.

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