Month: January 2026

Gaza's Grand Refusal: Turning Down Trump's 'Riviera' Vision REJECTED: From Terroirs Staging Area to World Class Tourist Resort By Ima N. Sceptic,

Plato's Last Stand: Critiquing Flutes and Dodging Lava Bombs Newly Found Papyrus Reveals Plato’s Musical Savagery and Unexpected Real Estate Choices A

$5 per wobble According to reports, the Brooklyn Bridge bike lane will soon feature a toll: $5 per pedal wobble. City

Pizza slice benefits secured According to reports, New York City’s rats have officially unionized under the banner of the United Rodents

Torchlight subscriptions According to reports, Lady Liberty herself has joined OnlyFans, citing the need to fund torch maintenance and pigeon deterrent

When Declaring War on War Declarations Makes Sense (Kind Of) The Final Battle Against Redundant Conflict Written from a Secure Bunker, Somewhere

Scream to pay According to reports, New Yorkers crushed by housing costs can now pay rent in a unique way: by

Lattes with side glare According to reports, New York coffee shops have discovered a bold new revenue stream: monetizing barista eye

Breakaway transit nation According to reports, a Queens subway station has officially seceded from the MTA, declaring itself "The Independent Republic

Fires, Flights, and Firefighting Fiascos: A Satirical Look at LA's Wildfire Woes From Mayor Bass's Ghana Getaway to Dry Hydrants and

Singing the fines According to reports, Broadway’s newest production isn’t about love or revolution—it’s about parking violations. "Ticket to Ride: The

Survival of the cutest According to reports, the Bronx Zoo is launching its first animal reality TV series, "Zoo’d Out." Animals

Gourmet on the go According to reports, New York’s iconic hot dog carts are going upscale—straight into the Michelin Guide. Vendors

Sky litigation According to reports, a group of Queens residents is suing LaGuardia Airport, claiming the constant airplane-shaped shadows crossing their

Democrats’ Struggles and Internal Conflicts The Democratic Party's recent trajectory resembles a sitcom where the characters can't decide if they're in

Editors Admit They Mistook Conviction for Commitment PRESS RELEASEA London-based satirical publication has announced an internal review after discovering that a

Firms Politely Confirm Compound Interest Is Not Sorcery PRESS RELEASESenior figures across the City have issued a joint clarification confirming that

Public Insists Familiarity Does Not Equal Knowledge, Apparently PRESS RELEASEA senior political figure has firmly denied any knowledge of a writer

Journalists Say “This Is Not How Commentary Works” After Writer Confuses Satire With Reality PRESS RELEASEThe British journalism community has expressed

Rodent solidarity According to reports, New York City’s rats have officially unionized, demanding better wages, pizza benefits, and "recognition as essential

Stocks meet headspins According to reports, Wall Street traders are diversifying their portfolios—not with crypto, but with headspins. Every Friday, suited

Sleep now, smell later According to reports, the MTA is rolling out "Nap Cars" on select subway lines, designed for commuters

Trump’s Executive Actions: The Circus We Deserve How Faith Offices, Security Clearances, and Time Magazine Covers Became America’s New Reality Show   Revoking

Freedom with bottle service According to reports, the Statue of Liberty is being retrofitted with a VIP rooftop bar, offering "bottle

Running bills According to reports, Central Park has introduced a controversial new policy: joggers will now be charged $5 per lap

Tourist trap sings louder According to reports, Times Square has officially declared every Thursday night "Mandatory Karaoke Night," requiring all visitors

Maxine Waters vs. The Department of Education: The Most Unnecessary Showdown in History How Costco Cards and Civil Rights Analogies Collided The

Gentrification takes flight According to reports, Brooklyn has entered its next wave of ironic capitalism: pigeon rentals. For $50 an hour,

Selfie fast lane According to reports, the Empire State Building has unveiled a new "influencer-only express elevator," shooting content creators directly

"Two slices, one nation" According to reports, Queens has boldly declared independence—not from New York City, but from Manhattan pizza supremacy.

Selfie runners only According to reports, Central Park has introduced new "influencer-only jogging lanes" designed for people who can’t run without

The Rise of Musk, Trump, and Big Balls: Government Efficiency or Ultimate Chaos? How a Billionaire, a President, and a Kid