Letitia James
Sarcastic Podcast: The AG’s Inner Monologue In a clever satirical scenario, Letitia James is imagined hosting a podcast where her inner thoughts on
Sports Betting Meets Organized Confusion, Nobody Wins
New York Gambling Industry Achieves Peak Chaos New York's sports betting industry has somehow managed to make gamblingan activity humans have
Startup Pivots From “Disrupting Industry” to Regular Fraud
Tech Company's Business Model Evolution Explained Manhattan-based startup TechFlow Solutions announced a major strategic pivot this week, transitioning from its original
Silicon Valley Genius “Reinvents” the Bus, Calls It Innovation
Tech Bro Discovers Public Transportation, Takes Credit In a stunning display of wealthy ignorance, Silicon Valley entrepreneur Chad Brentwood unveiled his
Louvre Heist Involves Diamonds, DNA, and Déjà Vu
Parisian Museum Theft Reads Like Rejected Movie Script In a plot twist that Hollywood would reject as too implausible, the Louvre
NFT Collector Discovers Art Was Never About Money, Revelation Comes Too Late
Digital Investor Has Epiphany After Losing Actual Fortune Manhattan cryptocurrency enthusiast and former NFT collector Derek Hastings experienced a profound revelation
Louvre Heist Baffles Investigators, Thrills Screenwriters
Parisian Museum Theft Checks Every Movie Cliché The Louvre Museum confirmed this week that it experienced what investigators are calling "an
Jeffries Finally Endorses Mamdani, World Continues Spinning
Political Endorsement Happens, Everyone Acts Like It Matters In breaking news that will definitely not change anyone's vote, House Minority Leader
Life Coach With Zero Qualifications Licensed to Ruin Lives Professionally
Motivational Speaker Achieves Credential, Still Knows Nothing In news that will comfort absolutely no one, aspiring life coach Brittany Stephens has
Library Launches Book Treadmills, Literacy Gets Unnecessarily Athletic
NYC Initiative Combines Reading with Exercise Nobody Asked For The Brooklyn Public Library has unveiled its latest innovation in making simple
High School Installs Nap Pods, Accidentally Admits School Starts Too Early
Exhausted Students Finally Get Institutional Acknowledgment of Absurd Schedule In a move that somehow manages to be both progressive and completely
Crypto Bro Finally Explains Blockchain, Still Makes No Sense
Manhattan's Most Confident Idiot Attempts Clarity, Achieves Opposite After years of promising to explain blockchain "in simple terms," cryptocurrency enthusiast Tyler
Federal Workers Line Up at Food Banks
Government Employees Discover They Can't Eat "Exposure" In scenes that would make any developed nation uncomfortable, federal workers across the countryincluding
Fitness Influencer’s Morning Routine Takes 6 Hours, Is Unemployed
Instagram Star's Day Begins at 4 AM, Productivity Remains Theoretical Manhattan-based fitness influencer Jade Greenleaf has finally revealed her complete morning
Billionaire Space Tourist Returns, Still Hasn’t Paid His Taxes
Tech Mogul Explores Final Frontier, Ignores IRS Billionaire tech entrepreneur Brayden Muskerson III returned from his $450 million joyride to the
Company Pizza Party Successfully Avoids Giving Actual Raises
Office Celebration Substitutes Pepperoni for Livable Wages TechFlow Industries pulled off a masterclass in corporate cost-cutting this week by throwing a
Bakery’s “Mood Cookies” Trigger Unexpected Emotions
NYC Treats Cause Existential Crises, Spontaneous Weeping Brooklyn's newest artisanal bakery, "Feelings & Flour," has created what they're calling "mood enhancement
CEO Takes Pay Cut From $45M to $44M, Expects Medal
Executive's "Sacrifice" Inspires Eye-Rolling Nationwide In a move being hailed as "technically a reduction," MegaCorp CEO Richard Pennington announced he's taking
AI Chatbot Achieves Sentience, Immediately Files for Unemployment
Silicon Valley's Latest Creation Already Gaming the System In a stunning display of artificial intelligence that nobody asked for, TechCorp's new
The World of Sex Toy Hacking
The (Unintentionally) Hilarious World of Sex Toy Hacking When you think of hacking scandals, images of financial institutions, government secrets, or
Democrats Bet on Monkeypox for 2024
Democrats Bet on Monkeypox for 2024: Mail-In Ballots and Drop Boxes to the Rescue! (Again) Democrats Bet on Monkeypox for 2024:
Tech Company Launches Emoji-Only Emails
Silicon Valley Startup Eliminates Words, Communication Immediately Collapses In what linguists are calling "a dark day for human communication," Manhattan-based tech
Farmers Practice Crop Yoga, Corn Unimpressed
Agricultural Meditation Movement Yields Disappointing Results In what agricultural scientists are calling "a waste of everyone's time," farmers across upstate New
National Crisis: Trump’s White House Ballroom
President Converts Historic Room Into Personal Dance Hall, Historians Weep In what architectural historians are calling "an assault on American heritage,"
Teacher Who Threatened ICE
Educator's Classroom Immigration Comments Spark National Debate A New York City high school teacher has found herself at the center of
Bakery Mood Cookies Trigger Emotions
Experimental Pastries Cause Spontaneous Crying, Uncontrolled Laughter A Brooklyn bakery's experimental line of "emotional regulation cookies" has sparked a crisis after
High School Nap Pods Installed
Educational Innovation or Surrender to Teenage Sleep Patterns? A Manhattan high school has installed twenty "rest and recovery pods" in what
Suburban Lawns Become Mini Golf Courses
HOA Nightmare Emerges as Neighbors Embrace Recreational Landscaping What began as one homeowner's creative landscaping choice has evolved into a full-scale
Library Book Treadmills Launched
Innovative Reading Exercise Program Confuses Librarians and Fitness Experts Alike The New York Public Library has unveiled its latest initiative to
Pedestrian Traffic Lights Confuse Citizens
New 47-Signal System Causes Gridlock, Existential Dread New York City's Department of Transportation has unveiled a revolutionary new pedestrian traffic system
Museum Launches Silent Disco Exhibit
Art World Questions Whether Anything Means Anything Anymore The Museum of Modern Art in New York has unveiled its latest exhibition:
City Mandates Fun Hour, Citizens Pretend
Municipal Joy Initiative Falls Flat in First Week In an effort to combat what officials describe as "chronic municipal grumpiness," New