Declare campaign for City Hall It was only a matter of time. According to reports, New York City’s infamous subway rats

Creates its own chaotic nation Move over, Staten Island. Times Square has declared independence, proclaiming itself a sovereign nation powered by

Teens Are Outsmarting Teachers with ChatGPT, and Honestly, It’s Hilarious The Ultimate Homework Hack: AI to the Rescue Teens have officially found

Cabbie confessions hit prime time Your favorite late-night confessions from the backseat are about to go national. According to reports, NYC

Tourists downward-dog in traffic New Yorkers thought they’d seen it all. Naked Cowboy, subway mariachi, Staten Island ferries running like haunted

Declares itself "People’s Republic of Pizza" The borough of Queens has had enough. According to reports, leaders declared independence from New

The Intergalactic Infatuation of Elon Musk A Love Story Beyond the Stars Los Angeles, California – The City of Stars and Beyond In

Debuts with dance to ‘Empire State of Mind’ She’s tall, she’s copper, and now she’s trending—Lady Liberty has joined TikTok. According

Demand bigger death scenes and jazz hands pay Times Square chaos isn’t just about costumed Elmos anymore—Broadway actors have officially gone

Declare artisanal drip the only legal coffee Brooklyn hipsters have officially banned Starbucks from their borough, declaring artisanal drip coffee the

DIY Disaster: How 3D Printing and Bad Decisions Revolutionized Crime In a story straight out of a dystopian tech thriller, the

Celibacy Uncovered: Religion vs. Reality Preaching Abstinence, Practicing Mischief Across the globe, religions preach premarital abstinence, but human behavior often contradicts doctrine.

New Yorkers must eat two slices daily In his boldest policy move yet, Mayor Eric Adams has declared pizza consumption mandatory

Everything bagels become black-market currency Bagel lovers beware: New York City is in crisis. According to reports, a massive bagel shortage

Content includes exclusive pizza photos Move over influencers—New York City’s infamous subway rats have entered the adult content game. According to

Algorithms's Decides What We Like Like It or Not – You're Gonna Need "Helpful Content" to Deal with Being Watched, and

Claim humans hog all the crumbs In a shocking development, New York City’s pigeons have filed a class-action lawsuit demanding equal

Chipmunks left out of negotiations New York’s latest labor movement isn’t in Starbucks or Trader Joe’s—it’s in Central Park, where the

Fight breaks out over bagel supremacy It’s official: Brooklyn has declared war on Manhattan. According to reports, the battle erupted after

Offers passports with free Elmo hug Move over, United Nations—the costumed characters of Times Square have declared independence. According to reports,

Mark Zuckerberg’s Libertarian Awakening: The Billionaire Breakup No One Saw Coming Meta, Misinformation, and Mark’s Midlife Crisis Silicon Valley's Golden Boy Just

Team says it’s time for a Bronx update The New York Yankees have announced a controversial change: replacing the national anthem

Claims torch arm has carpal tunnel The Statue of Liberty has finally had enough. According to reports, Lady Liberty is suing

Finally, peace for commuters without infants The MTA has announced its boldest innovation yet: the "Crying Baby Car." According to reports,

New Social Media Trend: People Posting Photos of Themselves Reading Fake Books Strike a Pose: The Rise of Pseudo-Literary Influencers Fake Books,

Authorities warn of nut-related assaults New Yorkers are used to dodging taxis, pigeons, and bad vibes—but now Central Park joggers face

Commuters say solos lasted entire G train ride The MTA has fined a subway musician—dubbed the "Subway DJ"—for excessive saxophone solos

Officials say New Yorkers must eat flat or leave In a move that has shaken the city’s identity, City Hall has

Former Governor Discovers Nobody Missed Him Andrew Cuomo's mayoral comeback attempt failed spectacularly, proving that resigning in disgrace over harassment allegations

People With Actual Jobs Support Socialist, Irony Noted Working-class New Yorkers overwhelmingly support Mamdani, creating the delicious irony of actual proletariat

MTA Promises Improvements, New Yorkers Skeptical The MTA promised subway improvements following Mamdani's transit criticism, pledging better service, reduced delays, and

Gentrification Reverses, Universe Amused Manhattan's wealthy professionals announced plans to flee to Brooklyn if Mamdani wins, apparently forgetting they already gentrified