Emotional roller coasters only The beach just got deeper. According to reports, Coney Island has shut down its roller coasters and

Crypto meets crust Crypto bros, rejoice—your slice just went digital. According to reports, New York pizzerias are selling their pies as

Mime takes Manhattan The Great White Way just got a lot quieter. According to reports, Broadway producers have unveiled "silent musicals,"

The Aggie Fight Song Performed by Debbie “Hayride” Harper & The Prairie Songbirds The Aggie Bar Fight Song: Music and Lyrics by Alan

Fries at the 86th floor Move over Shake Shack. According to reports, the Empire State Building has installed a drive-thru window

Tourists finally see themselves Times Square has done the unthinkable. According to reports, the world’s most famous ad space has ditched

Artisanal H2O for $25 Move over kombucha—Brooklyn has a new obsession. According to reports, Williamsburg hipsters have launched the city’s first

Acorns not included New York’s most beloved rodents are moving up in the world. According to reports, Central Park has launched

Study Finds That People Who Say 'I'm Not a Robot' Might Actually Be Robots By Poppy Tech-Fantastic | Cyberville  In a groundbreaking

Breathing fee introduced Just when you thought New York couldn’t get more expensive—now even the air costs money. According to reports,

Now its own republic Straphangers, brace yourselves. According to reports, the New York City subway system has declared independence, forming the

Cheese-based ballots counted Democracy has gone squeaky. According to reports, New York City’s rat population has officially won the mayoral race

Taylor Swift Returns to Her Rural Roots Nashville, Tennessee -- In a shocking yet utterly delightful twist, Taylor Swift has taken

Stadium fans revolt Baseball may never be the same. According to reports, Yankee Stadium has replaced traditional hot dogs with kale

Charge applies per duck face It was only a matter of time. According to reports, New York City has introduced a

Walz Enjoys Buttered Pickle Cotton Candy: After a few chews of this neon-green fluff, Walz declared it “a new state

Louder horns cost extra New Yorkers are used to surge pricing—but now they’re facing surge honking. According to reports, yellow cab

Landlords offer apartments with no oxygen New Yorkers have always said rent is astronomical—but now it’s literally reached orbit. According to

Demand better nuts and benefits Central Park’s furry residents have put their tiny feet down. According to reports, hundreds of squirrels

Cream cheese black market rises A crisis has gripped the five boroughs: bagel shortages. According to reports, a supply chain collapse

Google Still Pining Over Lost Love: Why Biden's Campaign Keeps Haunting Search Results After He’s Left the Race Kamala Who? The

Claim coops are overpriced The city’s most infamous squatters—pigeons—are now demanding rent control. According to reports, thousands of feathered tenants marched

Claims cultural independence In a move shocking no one, Staten Island has announced—again—that it’s seceding from New York City. According to

Possession of counterfeit hugs Chaos struck Midtown as Times Square’s most infamous fuzzy mascot was cuffed by NYPD. According to reports,

Giant’s Latest Innovation: A Device That Helps You Stop Using Devices—Irony Alert! "Finally, a gadget that teaches you how to live

Craft beer becomes official currency Brooklyn hipsters have officially declared independence from New York City, forming the "People’s Republic of Williamsburg."

Claim emotional distress from commuters Move over slip-and-fall cases—NYC’s latest courtroom drama involves subway rats suing the MTA for emotional distress.

Demand chairs and actual food Chaos on Wall Street: reports confirm that unpaid interns have staged a revolt, demanding chairs, edible

Discover the Shortest Path to Being a Know-It-All 15 Shocking Facts That Turn You into an Expert After Binge-Watching Documentaries! Discover the

Set ketchup prices sky high The wiener wars have escalated. According to reports, New York City’s hot dog vendors have formed

Refuse to open doors for Venmo users The city’s luxury lobbies are in chaos: reports confirm that NYC doormen are striking,

Demand better shells and dental The waves of labor have reached the shore. According to reports, Coney Island’s mermaids have unionized,