Google Still Pining Over Lost Love: Why Biden's Campaign Keeps Haunting Search Results After He’s Left the Race Kamala Who? The

Claim coops are overpriced The city’s most infamous squatters—pigeons—are now demanding rent control. According to reports, thousands of feathered tenants marched

Claims cultural independence In a move shocking no one, Staten Island has announced—again—that it’s seceding from New York City. According to

Possession of counterfeit hugs Chaos struck Midtown as Times Square’s most infamous fuzzy mascot was cuffed by NYPD. According to reports,

Giant’s Latest Innovation: A Device That Helps You Stop Using Devices—Irony Alert! "Finally, a gadget that teaches you how to live

Claim emotional distress from commuters Move over slip-and-fall cases—NYC’s latest courtroom drama involves subway rats suing the MTA for emotional distress.

Craft beer becomes official currency Brooklyn hipsters have officially declared independence from New York City, forming the "People’s Republic of Williamsburg."

Demand chairs and actual food Chaos on Wall Street: reports confirm that unpaid interns have staged a revolt, demanding chairs, edible

Discover the Shortest Path to Being a Know-It-All 15 Shocking Facts That Turn You into an Expert After Binge-Watching Documentaries! Discover the

Set ketchup prices sky high The wiener wars have escalated. According to reports, New York City’s hot dog vendors have formed

Demand better shells and dental The waves of labor have reached the shore. According to reports, Coney Island’s mermaids have unionized,

Accuse joggers of trespassing It’s not joggers versus dogs anymore—it’s joggers versus squirrels. According to reports, Central Park squirrels have filed

Refuse to open doors for Venmo users The city’s luxury lobbies are in chaos: reports confirm that NYC doormen are striking,

The Mueller Report (2019) - "Mueller Report: Over 400 Pages, Still No One Can Agree on What It Says" Washington, D.C.

Claim audiences clap too aggressively Times Square is dimmer than usual: reports confirm Broadway actors are striking over "encore fatigue," insisting

Focus on pigeon gossip and traffic The animal kingdom is going digital. According to reports, the Bronx Zoo animals have launched

Strollers used as barricades The quietest revolution in Manhattan has begun, according to reports: Upper East Side nannies have unionized, rolling

NASA Confirms: The Only Thing Not on Mars Yet is a Starbucks Houston, Texas -- In a press conference that has

Say they can’t post memes without it Move over tourists—the pigeons of Times Square are going digital. According to reports, the

Now accepts MetroCards as passports In a bold move no one asked for, reports confirm that the Staten Island Ferry has

Demand royalties for train noise The city’s unofficial soundtrack may soon cost extra. According to reports, New York’s subway musicians are

Boeing’s Starliner: The Spacecraft That Time Forgot Decades in the Making, Boeing's Latest Spacecraft Aims for the Stars, But Only When

Demand foam-based recognition It’s not just workers rising up—it’s the foam. According to reports, New York City baristas have formed the

Disrupt garbage collection In a development shocking even by New York standards, reports confirm that Brooklyn’s rats have banded together to

Insists it’s always five minutes behind Forget daylight savings. According to reports, Queens officials have unilaterally declared the borough its own

Claim Gatorade is "too corporate" New York finance bros are trading in their energy drinks for Capri Suns. According to reports,

California’s Fire Management Approach: Where Loggers and Fires Meet    California’s fire management strategy is like a sitcom where nobody ever

"30 seconds or it’s yours" Move over Seamless. According to reports, New York City rats have launched their own pizza delivery

Propose dedicated sleep zones on FDR Forget bike lanes. According to reports, New York taxi drivers are demanding the city create

Asmongold vs. Elon Musk: The Rivalry That Started with Pac-Man and May End with AI Overlords “Elon is trying to

Announce new nation of "Artisanalia" Move over, Vermont. According to reports, a coalition of Williamsburg and Bushwick hipsters has declared independence

Pledges to clean ponds, attack joggers New York politics just got more feathery. According to reports, a Central Park swan has