14 Books We Read This Weak... And We Regret It Deeply We at Bohiney are dedicated to the fine art of reading,

School Libraries converted to study halls; literacy initiative paradoxically reduces access to reading materials Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat NYC Department

Municipal designation of Times Square as officially excessive; tourists charged $35 entry fee for “authorized disorientation experience” Bohiney Magazine and The

Food safety agency mandates advanced warning for “surprise” inspections; restaurants prepare in advance; violations mysteriously disappear Bohiney Magazine and The London

Public housing agency rebrands dangerous fungal growth as “vintage patina”; refuses maintenance as “preservation measure” Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat NYC

Solves overlapping jurisdiction problem by adding more bureaucracy; hires 340 administrators to manage administrator coordination Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat NYC

Addresses affordable housing shortage by encouraging residents to relocate; proposes subsidizing moves with municipal funds Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat NYC

Transit Authority eliminates timetables under theory that not knowing when trains arrive reduces commuter anxiety Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat MTA

Police Department issues summons for crimes predicted to occur; saves enforcement resources by punishing preventively Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat NYPD

Strategic removal of seating eliminates homeless population’s ability to rest; department celebrates “urban decongestion success” Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat NYC

New toll system allows city to tax residents for existing streets; generates revenue for suburban expansion projects Bohiney Magazine and The

SAG Declares War on Botox: Hollywood's Ban 'Frozen Faces' to Save Laughter Hollywood’s Newest Outlaw? Your Own Forehead. In a shocking twist

Tom Brady’s Greatest Comeback: Rekindling Love Like It’s the Fourth Quarter Tom Brady and Irina Shayk have rekindled their romance Tom Brady

East Village establishment bills $7 per table for ‘ambient excellence maintenance,’ refuses to clarify what specifically this covers Bohiney Magazine |

Midtown encounter produces comprehensive unsolicited oral dissertation on correct method of holding New York opinions, tourist misses museum Bohiney Magazine |

Columbia research team identifies breakthrough correlation between unresolved personal situations and unusually fast mile times in the park’s south loop Bohiney

Resolution 2024-312 achieves unanimous passage but raises procedural question of how municipality learns of its own official distinction Bohiney Magazine |

Transit authority defends performance by citing 1903 inaugural year as appropriate baseline, reminds riders that horses were worse Bohiney Magazine |

Mayoral directive 2024-88 requires all real estate listings to use word ‘spacious’ regardless of square footage, instructs New Yorkers to

NYC Department of Cultural Affairs certifies Times Square as the world’s highest concentration of unlicensed Sesame Street intellectual property per

Williamsburg authenticity experience now priced at $34 entry fee, former longtime residents charged extra for ‘historical context package’ Bohiney Magazine |

Broker describes unit’s ‘efficient footprint’ and ‘motivated natural light situation’ in listing that received more interest than any property in

Rodent community questions population estimate methodology, disputes characterization of subway habitat as ‘unsanitary,’ requests meeting with rat czar Bohiney Magazine |

Experts Warn That Reading Books May Lead to Independent Thinking A Shocking Discovery Shakes Educational Institutions In a startling announcement that sent

Millennials Discover That Avocado Toast Actually Prevents Home Ownership Groundbreaking Research Shakes the Housing Market In a groundbreaking new study published this

The Great Science Gender Crisis: Why Girls Refuse to Explode Stuff in Labs The Shocking Discovery: Women Are Not Rushing to

Developer Offers 47 Units to Households Earning 80-120 Percent of Area Median Income, Describes Initiative as Genuine Commitment to Mixed-Income

Borough Confirms It Is Now So Expensive That the Word ‘Authentic’ Has Been Priced Out and Replaced With ‘Curated Authenticity’

State Commits Funding to Roads, Bridges, and Transit Over Twelve Years, Confirming That By Completion Everyone Involved Will Have Retired Bohiney

Critic Notes Pasta Is Excellent, That This Is Part of the Problem, and That the Bread Service Cost $12 and

Mayor’s Office Confirms City Is On Track to Meet 2030 Emissions Targets Assuming Several Things Happen That Are Not Currently

Port Authority and NYC Parks Create Quiet Reflection Areas in the World’s Loudest Place, Report Mixed Results Within the First