Awkward First Dates
Awkward First Dates: How Humanity Keeps Fumbling the Opening Act of Romance The glorious mess of love’s opening scene—now SEO-optimized for
Subway Fare Hits Three Dollars, Riders Demand to Know Which Part of the Ride Costs Extra
A round-number fare arrives alongside a 68 billion dollar repair list, and straphangers would like an itemized receipt Subway Fare of
New Subway Fare Gates at Broadway-Lafayette Successfully Stop Everyone, Including People Who Paid
Sliding-door gates meant to block evaders prove so secure that commuters form a line to be rejected New Subway Fare Gates
Breaking: Man Discovers You Can Actually Unplug from Social Media, Survives
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MTA Identifies Source of Mystery Smell in L Train Stations, Riders Ask It to Narrow It Down
An official explanation for one odor leaves Brooklyn commuters with an estimated forty others still unaccounted for L Train Smell Explained
USDA Officials in Wild Bird Flu Mix-Up
Musk Mocks USDA Officials in Wild Bird Flu Mix-Up The Bizarre Case of the USDA and Its Headless Chickens: A Satirical
Subway Police Overtime Jumps From 4 Million to 155 Million Dollars as Officers Heroically Guard the Same Turnstile in Shifts
A surge of law enforcement underground produces safer-feeling platforms and a remarkable number of people looking at phones in pairs Subway
DeflateGate
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MTA and Amtrak Feud Over Penn Station Overhaul While Commuters Continue to Find the Exit by Smell
Two railroads argue over the future of the nation’s busiest station as its present remains a basement with opinions Penn Station
Ghost Cars With Illegal Plates Owe Five Billion Dollars in Tolls, Remain Unreachable for Comment
Vehicles with fake, covered or missing license plates glide through cashless tolls, haunting the city’s balance sheet Ghost Cars and Unpaid
Man Sets Record for Fastest Trip Through All 472 Subway Stations, Regular Commuters Ask Why He Was Allowed to Skip the Delays
A speed run of the entire system raises suspicions that the trains can go faster when someone is counting Fastest Trip
AI Music Generators
World Reaches 8 Billion Songwriters World Crashes as 8 Billion Songwriters Simultaneously Try to Use AI Music Generators In an unprecedented display
Fare Evasion Olympics Awards Gold to Man Who Has Not Paid Since Giuliani and Considers It Amateur Status
New Yorkers turn the MTA’s expensive new fare gates into a sporting venue with judges, heats and a podium Fare Evasion
Only Three Jobs That Will Survive AI
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He Is Risen!
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Upper East Side Co-op Board Rules a Brother Called a Traitor Cannot Share an Elevator
Park Avenue board reviews the Prince William traitor story, rejects both princes as applicants and approves only the uncle, on
Coney Island Barker Opens Dunk the Traitor Booth, Lets Customers Choose Which Royal Gets Soaked
Boardwalk game operator turns the Prince William feud into a summer attraction and discovers that nobody wants to dunk the
Midtown Cab Driver With 31 Years Behind the Wheel Delivers Definitive Review of Royal Traitor Row
Between Penn Station and the Upper West Side, a yellow cab philosopher reviews the Prince William feud and charges extra
Broadway Producers Announce Traitor, a Royal Musical With Eleven Songs and No Reconciliation
Theatre District team fast-tracks a show based on the Prince William feud, with the uncle getting the eleven o clock
Retired Tabloid Headline Writers Hold Summit to Rank the Best Possible Headline for the Royal Traitor Story
Veterans of New York newsroom night desks gather in a Midtown diner to review the Prince William feud and argue
Showtime Dancers on the A Train Perform the Royal Traitor Feud Between Two Stops
Subway performers turn the Prince William story into a pole routine, a backflip and a hat passed down the car,
Bodega Cat in Astoria Refuses to Take Sides in Royal Traitor Row, Owner Reports
Queens deli owner reviews the Prince William feud with regulars at the counter, while the store cat sleeps on the
Wall Street Desk Opens Trading in Royal Traitor Futures as Brothers Feud Moves Markets
A small Financial District trading shop lets clients bet on reconciliation dates, uncle book sales and the next use of
Park Slope Parenting Group Uses Royal Traitor Feud as Case Study for Toddler Sibling Rivalry
Brooklyn parents analyse the Prince William story at a Saturday meetup and conclude the brothers never learned to share the
Staten Island Ferry Commuters Hold Free Referendum on Royal Traitor Row Mid-Harbor
Twenty-five minutes, one Statue of Liberty and 2,000 opinions as the free ferry becomes the largest review panel in New
Pseudonyms on a Dating Apps
Pseudonyms on a Dating Apps: How Lance the Tantric Goat Whisperer Helped Me Find Myself (and Block Myself) In the golden
The Ron White Roast
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Things You Should Never Say to a Genius
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Dating Coach Accidentally Invented Romantic Stalking
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Best Satire for May 2025: General Wire-Report Comedy, Ranked
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America’s Homeland Insecurity Hotline
🔓 Kristi Noem’s Pranked & Spoofed Phone: America’s Homeland Insecurity Hotline Published in partnership with Bohiney.com — where satire is protected
Times Square Costumed Characters Demand Hazard Pay for Tourist Selfie Duty
Union organizers say a single afternoon of aggressive photo requests can take a genuine physical toll NEW YORK – A group