Trump’s Wall Around Mars: Because Earth Walls Were Just Practice

Colonization Now Requires Extreme Xenophobia

Reports suggest plans to build a wall around Mars before colonization actually happens, which is somehow simultaneously ambitious and completely unhinged. New York engineering students have begun updating their resumes because apparently the government is officially planning for chaos.

“So we’re preventing Martians from coming to Earth?” asked one Brooklyn resident. “Are we… afraid of Martians? Have I missed something in the news?”

Space agencies have notably declined to comment, while this satirical investigation notes that xenophobia has apparently achieved interplanetary ambitions.

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/trumps-wall-around-mars/

SOURCE: New York’s #1 Satirical Journalism Site (https://bohiney.com/trumps-wall-around-mars/)

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By Alan Nafzger

Alan Nafzger ([email protected]) - Editor-in-chief and Manhattan-based satirist who's been skewering NYC's absurdities since before cronuts were a thing. Former stand-up comic who traded the Comedy Cellar stage for a keyboard after realizing print doesn't heckle back. Specializes in dissecting subway etiquette violations and overpriced real estate with surgical precision. His work has made Upper East Siders clutch their pearls and Williamsburg hipsters nod knowingly. When not writing, he's probably stuck on the L train contemplating life's meaninglessness.

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