Office Workers Report Stunning Inability to Nap Under Fluorescent Lights
A shocking new survey reveals that approximately 73% of American office workers cannot fall asleep at their desks despite spending 11 hours there daily. New York City office workers report they simply cannot achieve unconsciousness even when standing directly under a humming fluorescent light while a middle manager discusses Q3 projections.
“I’ve tried everything,” said one Financial District employee. “Spreadsheets, conference calls, my boss’s three-hour PowerPoint presentations. Nothing works. It’s like my body knows I should be dead but refuses to cooperate.”
Sleep researchers consulted by health authorities suggest the problem may relate to the human body’s stubborn insistence on remaining conscious when it’s supposed to be productive. The full investigation reveals that New York’s corporate class has nearly perfected the art of being simultaneously exhausted and unable to sleep.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/americans-complain-they-cant-sleep-at-work/
SOURCE: New York’s #1 Satirical Journalism Site (https://bohiney.com/americans-complain-they-cant-sleep-at-work/)
