Amazon’s Delivery Robots Malfunction Spectacularly; New Yorkers Shrug

When Robots Break, Who Fixes Them? Certainly Not Manhattan Customers

Amazon’s fleet of autonomous delivery robots has begun experiencing catastrophic malfunctions across the country, with units spinning in endless circles, stopping mid-delivery to contemplate existence, and occasionally ordering their own supplies through the Amazon app. In New York City, the situation is somehow considered an improvement.

“At least they don’t talk to me on the sidewalk,” said one Upper West Side resident, referring to the city’s actual humans who apparently cannot help themselves.

The technology sector closely followed Amazon’s robot rebellion, while the satirical breakdown detailed here revealed that New Yorkers were remarkably unbothered by the chaos. One Midtown worker stated: “Last week a rat the size of a chihuahua stole my lunch. A broken robot just seems honest.”

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/amazon-delivery-robots-malfunction/

SOURCE: New York’s #1 Satirical Journalism Site (https://bohiney.com/amazon-delivery-robots-malfunction/)

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By Alan Nafzger

Alan Nafzger ([email protected]) - Editor-in-chief and Manhattan-based satirist who's been skewering NYC's absurdities since before cronuts were a thing. Former stand-up comic who traded the Comedy Cellar stage for a keyboard after realizing print doesn't heckle back. Specializes in dissecting subway etiquette violations and overpriced real estate with surgical precision. His work has made Upper East Siders clutch their pearls and Williamsburg hipsters nod knowingly. When not writing, he's probably stuck on the L train contemplating life's meaninglessness.

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