Om on the Exchange
According to reports, Wall Street brokers have begun meditating in alleys behind Goldman Sachs to “center their chi before destroying portfolios.” Suits can be spotted cross-legged next to dumpsters, chanting “buy low, sell high.”
One trader whispered, “My mantra is Tesla, Tesla, Tesla.” Another was seen meditating while holding a latte, clearly vibrating on oat milk instead of inner peace.
TikToks #ZenStreet trend features interns live-streaming their bosses chanting while rats scurry past. One viral video shows a broker levitatingor possibly fainting from stress.
Tabloids enlightened. “OM WALL STREET” screamed the Post. The Daily News countered: “MEDITATE, THEN MANIPULATE.”
Mayor Adams praised it as “financial wellness.” Governor Hochul muttered, “I wish theyd meditate on rent prices.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/wall-street-brokers-meditate-in-alley/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/wall-street-brokers-meditate-in-alley/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
