Selfie runners only
According to reports, Central Park has introduced new “influencer-only jogging lanes” designed for people who cant run without simultaneously livestreaming their cardio. The lanes, marked with giant ring lights and portable tripods, allow content creators to sweat while optimizing engagement.
“We realized half our joggers were already blocking paths while filming TikToks,” explained a Parks Department spokesperson. “Now they can obstruct traffic in their own lane.”
Regular joggers are furious. “I almost tripped over a ring light,” complained one marathon trainee. But influencers are thrilled. “Finally, a place where I can scream Rise and grind into the void without getting dirty looks,” said one Brooklyn fitness coach. A sponsorship deal with athleisure brands ensures joggers can livestream directly to Instagram while receiving real-time comments like “????” and “DM for crypto tips.”
The influencer lanes feature hydration stations stocked with kale juice, selfie mirrors every 200 feet, and even portable soundproof booths for mid-run podcasts. Rumors suggest Peloton instructors may be spotted jogging alongside to offer unsolicited motivation.
TikToks #Runfluence tag shows influencers choreographing dances mid-jog, causing pile-ups near Bethesda Fountain. One viral clip featured a tourist getting run over by a selfie stick wielded at full sprint.
Tabloids chimed in. The Post shouted: “RUNNING ON LIKES.” The Daily News countered with: “CENTRAL PERK-UP.”
Mayor Adams endorsed it: “We jog for the algorithm now.” Governor Hochul muttered, “If squirrels start livestreaming, Im banning trees.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/central-park-adds-reserved-jogging-lanes-for-influencers/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/central-park-adds-reserved-jogging-lanes-for-influencers/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
