High society gets fizzy withdrawals
The Upper East Side is fizzing with excitement after the debut of champagne ATMs. According to reports, residents can now withdraw chilled prosecco instead of cash. Each machine comes with monogrammed plastic flutes and a doorman who sighs judgmentally.
“Finally, banking meets brunch,” said a Park Avenue socialite while double-parking her Range Rover. Withdrawals range from $20 splits to magnums for those with platinum cards. Every receipt is printed on recycled Hermès gift wrap.
Locals are giddy. “I got overdraft fees but at least Im drunk,” confessed one. TikToks #ChampagneATM shows influencers toasting outside Duane Reade while security guards roll their eyes.
Tabloids popped. “BUBBLY BALANCE” screamed the Post. The Daily News countered: “CASH OR CORK.”
Mayor Adams toasted it as “luxury hydration.” Governor Hochul asked whether champagne is covered by Medicaid. Spoiler: its not.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/upper-east-side-adds-champagne-atms/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/upper-east-side-adds-champagne-atms/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
