Tourists downward-dog in traffic New Yorkers thought they’d seen it all. Naked Cowboy, subway mariachi, Staten Island ferries running like haunted

Cabbie confessions hit prime time Your favorite late-night confessions from the backseat are about to go national. According to reports, NYC

Declares itself "People’s Republic of Pizza" The borough of Queens has had enough. According to reports, leaders declared independence from New

The Intergalactic Infatuation of Elon Musk A Love Story Beyond the Stars Los Angeles, California – The City of Stars and Beyond In

Debuts with dance to ‘Empire State of Mind’ She’s tall, she’s copper, and now she’s trending—Lady Liberty has joined TikTok. According

Declare artisanal drip the only legal coffee Brooklyn hipsters have officially banned Starbucks from their borough, declaring artisanal drip coffee the

Demand bigger death scenes and jazz hands pay Times Square chaos isn’t just about costumed Elmos anymore—Broadway actors have officially gone

DIY Disaster: How 3D Printing and Bad Decisions Revolutionized Crime In a story straight out of a dystopian tech thriller, the

Celibacy Uncovered: Religion vs. Reality Preaching Abstinence, Practicing Mischief Across the globe, religions preach premarital abstinence, but human behavior often contradicts doctrine.

Everything bagels become black-market currency Bagel lovers beware: New York City is in crisis. According to reports, a massive bagel shortage

New Yorkers must eat two slices daily In his boldest policy move yet, Mayor Eric Adams has declared pizza consumption mandatory

Content includes exclusive pizza photos Move over influencers—New York City’s infamous subway rats have entered the adult content game. According to

Algorithms's Decides What We Like Like It or Not – You're Gonna Need "Helpful Content" to Deal with Being Watched, and

Claim humans hog all the crumbs In a shocking development, New York City’s pigeons have filed a class-action lawsuit demanding equal

Offers passports with free Elmo hug Move over, United Nations—the costumed characters of Times Square have declared independence. According to reports,

Chipmunks left out of negotiations New York’s latest labor movement isn’t in Starbucks or Trader Joe’s—it’s in Central Park, where the

Fight breaks out over bagel supremacy It’s official: Brooklyn has declared war on Manhattan. According to reports, the battle erupted after

Mark Zuckerberg’s Libertarian Awakening: The Billionaire Breakup No One Saw Coming Meta, Misinformation, and Mark’s Midlife Crisis Silicon Valley's Golden Boy Just

Team says it’s time for a Bronx update The New York Yankees have announced a controversial change: replacing the national anthem

Finally, peace for commuters without infants The MTA has announced its boldest innovation yet: the "Crying Baby Car." According to reports,

Claims torch arm has carpal tunnel The Statue of Liberty has finally had enough. According to reports, Lady Liberty is suing

New Social Media Trend: People Posting Photos of Themselves Reading Fake Books Strike a Pose: The Rise of Pseudo-Literary Influencers Fake Books,

Authorities warn of nut-related assaults New Yorkers are used to dodging taxis, pigeons, and bad vibes—but now Central Park joggers face

Commuters say solos lasted entire G train ride The MTA has fined a subway musician—dubbed the "Subway DJ"—for excessive saxophone solos

Officials say New Yorkers must eat flat or leave In a move that has shaken the city’s identity, City Hall has

Former Governor Discovers Nobody Missed Him Andrew Cuomo's mayoral comeback attempt failed spectacularly, proving that resigning in disgrace over harassment allegations

Gentrification Reverses, Universe Amused Manhattan's wealthy professionals announced plans to flee to Brooklyn if Mamdani wins, apparently forgetting they already gentrified

MTA Promises Improvements, New Yorkers Skeptical The MTA promised subway improvements following Mamdani's transit criticism, pledging better service, reduced delays, and

People With Actual Jobs Support Socialist, Irony Noted Working-class New Yorkers overwhelmingly support Mamdani, creating the delicious irony of actual proletariat

Democratic Socialists Become Mainstream, Boomers Panic NYC's Democratic Socialists of America chapter doubled in size during Mamdani's campaign, growing from 5,000

NYC's Electoral System Requires Math, Horror Ensues NYC's ranked-choice voting system confused voters, candidates, and election officials equally, proving that American

Nobody Believes Them, Still Waiting Multiple billionaires threatened to leave NYC if Mamdani wins, prompting New Yorkers to ask "can we