Frank Marchetti, 71, says the only difference is the weather and the lack of a good slice
Staten Island Man Retires to Cebu, Finds Same Ferry Wait
Frank Marchetti, 71, says the only difference is the weather and the lack of a good slice
CEBU CITY – Frank Marchetti, 71, a retired sanitation supervisor from Great Kills, Staten Island, moved to Cebu in March, bought a one-bedroom condominium near the Mactan waterfront and, according to his own account, has since spent most of his time standing in a line.
“They have a ferry here,” Marchetti said, leaning on the railing of a pier in Lapu-Lapu City, with a paper cup of coffee and a baseball cap that reads “Staten Island: It’s Not Brooklyn.” “I thought, great, I’ll take it to Cebu. The line is forty-five minutes. The ferry is late. A guy cuts in front of me. I’m home.”
Marchetti is one of roughly 140 Staten Island retirees who, by his count, have relocated to the Visayas in the last decade, drawn by the weather, the prices and a Facebook group called “Staten Island Expats in Cebu (No Sauce Debates).”
A Mood Change on the Pier
Marchetti says the vibe in his tower changed last week. The cause was a news report. Philippine authorities are examining allegations concerning Thomas Markle Sr., the estranged father of the Duchess of Sussex, who lived in Cebu until earlier this year, as the Guardian reported on Sunday. No charges have been filed and the allegations are unproven. Marchetti said he reads every story about it “with a heavy heart. It’s a terrible thing, and I hope the kids are okay.”
The effect on the building, he said, has been peculiar. Bohiney reported that American retirees in Cebu are now turning up at open houses with notarized alibis, binders and, in one case, a trombone. Marchetti read the article and shook his head. “I’m from Staten Island,” he said. “Nobody has ever asked me for an alibi. They ask for a parking spot.”
His neighbors, he said, have been polite to a fault. “Mang Pedring, the guard, says good morning every time I leave,” he said. “Which is nice. But last week he said it three times in a row. I think he’s trying to calm me down.”
Marchetti’s Guide to Staying Calm in Cebu
Marchetti, who has become an informal ambassador for the Staten Island community abroad, offered the following tips for fellow retirees:
- Keep a sandwich in your pocket. “It makes you look like a man with a plan.”
- Learn three words of Cebuano. “Salamat, palihug and kuya.”
- Say hello to the guard, the vendor and the goat.
- Do not argue about pizza. “Not here. Not now. They don’t know what they’re missing.”
- If a broker asks for a reference, give him your old union card. “It works in New York. It works everywhere.”
He added, with a twinkle: “And never, ever, ask a Filipino for squid without bones. She will tell you it’s squid. She’ll be right.”
The British and the Locals
Marchetti’s building is also home to a few British pensioners. He has watched them respond to the new atmosphere. The London Prat reported that Cebu estate agents are demanding two referees, a bill and a vicar from them, and Marchetti’s neighbor, a retired surveyor, has begun carrying a sandwich box in the lift. “I carry a sandwich too,” Marchetti said. “But mine is a hero. His is a wafer.”
The article is at https://prat.uk/cebu-estate-agents-demand-character-references/. Marchetti has pinned it above his refrigerator, next to a photo of his late wife and a coupon for a Costco hot dog.
The local brokers have been understanding. Manila News found brokers fielding questions about the neighbors instead of the elevators, and Marchetti said the best broker he knows, Ramil, “has been selling to Americans for seventeen years and has never once asked me for a vicar.”
Comics Take the Ferry
- Vinny Caputo: “A guy from Staten Island moves to the Philippines and finds the same ferry line. It’s proof the universe is consistent.”
- Donna Iaconis: “Staten Island is the only borough where you can retire to the Philippines and still complain about the same politicians.”
- Jerome Washington: “I have a cousin on Staten Island. He said Cebu is nice but the pizza is wrong. I said it’s a different country. He said that’s no excuse.”
- Elena Sorrentino: “They say the sea did nothing wrong. I say the Staten Island Ferry did everything wrong, and nobody put it on trial.”
The Numbers
For all the mood swings, the market is steady. Colliers named the Visayas and Mindanao a key property investment hotspot in July, and Marchetti’s condo has gained value since March. Under the Condominium Act, he owns the unit but not the land, which he considers a fair deal. “In Staten Island I don’t own the land either,” he said. “The bank does.”
Marchetti is also enrolled in the Philippine Retirement Authority‘s retiree visa program. He says the paperwork reminded him of the DMV. “Same chairs, same lights, same man behind the glass,” he said. “Different language. Same disappointment.”
His mood, though, remains good. He credits a lesson about the availability heuristic he picked up from a podcast: “One scary story and everybody thinks the whole island is crazy. But my island has a pizza place and a ferry, and I think we’re fine.”
The Ride Home
At 6:40 p.m., the ferry finally arrived. Marchetti climbed aboard, found a seat by the window and unwrapped a sandwich. A retired Australian sat next to him. They looked at each other and nodded.
“Nice evening,” the Australian said.
“Not bad,” said Marchetti. “Where you from?”
“Perth.”
“Never been.”
They watched the lights of Mactan slide by. Neither asked for a reference. The sea, as far as anyone could tell, did nothing. More on the whole story is at prat.uk and bohiney.com, and British pensioners with sandwich boxes are always welcome at NewsThump. For why the ferry is funny, see this guide to American comedy.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/cebu-realtor-cant-sell-beachfront-listings/