Bull market burnout
According to reports, the Charging Bull of Wall Street has led a stampede demanding paid vacation for financial mascots. “Weve been standing here for decades with tourists climbing uswe need PTO!” bellowed one bronze bull. Their demands include weekends in the Hamptons, massages, and oat milk lattes.
Bulls argue burnout is real, noting constant tourist selfies and drunk bros yelling “bro, Im bullish!” at 3 a.m. Financial analysts oddly support the move, saying a relaxed bull might improve the market. Bears countered by requesting emotional support salmon.
TikToks #Bullcation trend is raging: pranksters posing bulls in Hawaiian shirts, influencers sipping margaritas with plastic horns, and one viral video of a bull statue on a Jet Ski in Rockaway. Finance bros pretend to meditate on Wall Street steps with captions like “manifest bullish vibes.”
Tabloids stampeded. The Post roared: “BULLISH ON VACAY.” The Daily News countered: “HORNS DOWN, STOCKS DOWN.”
Mayor Adams said: “Even bronze deserves rest.” Governor Hochul muttered: “If Albany tries this, Im banning bull spas.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/wall-street-bulls-demand-paid-vacation/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/wall-street-bulls-demand-paid-vacation/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
