Dinking with dignity
According to reports, Upper West Side retirees have gone feral with pickleball. The once-gentle sport now resembles gladiator combat with paddles. Matches in Riverside Park draw crowds bigger than Shakespeare in the Park, and paramedics stand by with Bengay and cortisone shots.
“I broke three hips last weeknone of them mine,” bragged one competitor. Seniors train daily, fueled by black coffee and indignation at Citi Bike riders. Their pre-game rituals involve yelling at pigeons and adjusting hearing aids for maximum intimidation.
TikToks #PickleballPunks shows gray-haired athletes trash talking like Knicks fans in 94. One viral clip shows a grandma spiking so hard it shattered a park bench.
Tabloids swung. “SMASHING SENIORS” screamed the Post. The Daily News countered: “DINK OR DIE.”
Mayor Adams praised it as “fitness for the future.” Governor Hochul muttered, “God help us if they unionize.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/upper-west-side-seniors-start-competitive-pickleball-league/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/upper-west-side-seniors-start-competitive-pickleball-league/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
