Claim emotional distress from commuters
Move over slip-and-fall casesNYCs latest courtroom drama involves subway rats suing the MTA for emotional distress. According to reports, the rodents allege harassment from commuters armed with mop buckets, steel-toed boots, and viral TikToks.
“Weve been here longer than MetroCards,” said lead plaintiff Remy, gnawing through legal documents. The rats claim theyre unfairly villainized in memes, forced to star in pizza-carrying videos without compensation, and regularly suffer PTSD from screams echoing through dank tunnels.
MTA lawyers countered, arguing rats dont pay fares, chew through signal wires, and occasionally unionize with pigeons. Judge Kaplan admitted the case was “weird even for Brooklyn,” but allowed proceedings after three rats gnawed through his gavel.
Tabloids pounced. “LAW AND ODOR” barked the Post. The Daily News replied: “SQUEAK OF JUSTICE.” Social media went feral, with #RatRights trending and influencers posting glam shots of subway rodents sipping iced lattes.
Mayor Adams vowed to hear both sides, noting he “respects hardworking rats, but not freeloaders.” Governor Hochul suggested mediation with free MetroCards for rodents under 6 inches long. Meanwhile, commuters just want their trains to arrive without rodent law firms clogging turnstiles.
The trial is set to begin in Staten Island, where the jury of 12 feral cats is expected to cause “complications.” Until then, the rats remain in the tunnels, plotting their next legal motion: class-action suit for lack of crumb distribution.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/subway-rats-sue-mta/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/subway-rats-sue-mta/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
