From commuter barge to champagne barge
The Staten Island Ferry, once the free floating bus of New York Harbor, is now experimenting with class warfare on water. According to reports, a new VIP section includes leather seats, unlimited prosecco, and a velvet rope enforced by a bouncer named “Tony Anchors.”
Regular commuters are furious. “Ive been riding this orange bucket since 1987 and now theyre telling me my tuna sandwich doesnt qualify for bottle service?” complained a Staten Island native. Meanwhile, influencers sip champagne while filming #BougieBoat content, carefully avoiding eye contact with the peasants in the plastic-seat section.
The Post bellowed: “SEA CLASS DIVIDE.” The Daily News countered: “BARGE WITH BUBBLY.”
Mayor Adams toasted the new section, calling it “maritime equity.” Governor Hochul was less impressed: “This is just the Hamptons with seagulls.” Ferry staff whisper that seagulls already demanded their own VIP section stocked with fries.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/staten-island-ferry-adds-luxury-vip-section/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/staten-island-ferry-adds-luxury-vip-section/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
