Nature meets narcissism
Central Park has long been a refuge from the citys concrete chaos. But now, according to reports, its home to the largest ring light on the East Coastdesigned for influencers who find nature too dim for their content.
Tourists are thrilled, finally capturing perfectly lit shots of squirrels hoarding Doritos. Locals sigh. “I used to jog through the Ramble. Now Im blinded by influencers yelling, Yasss, natural light but better!” said one Upper West Side resident shielding her corneas.
TikTok blew up with #RingLightPark trends, including dog owners staging glam photoshoots of poodles in Prada. The Parks Department insists the electricity bill is “only slightly higher than powering Queens.”
Tabloids were savage. “PHOTOSYNTHESIS FOR HUMANS” screamed the Post. The Daily News offered: “CENTRAL SPARK.”
Mayor Adams called it “innovation in outdoor vanity.” Governor Hochul muttered, “The trees didnt ask for this.” Still, wedding photographers rejoiced, and joggers considered suing for flashburn injuries.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/central-park-installs-giant-selfie-ring-light/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/central-park-installs-giant-selfie-ring-light/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
