Escalate faster
According to reports, Queens residents have officially petitioned the city for moving sidewalks, arguing it would cut commutes and make late-night bodega runs “athletically optional.” The proposal, dubbed “Project Lazy River,” envisions conveyor-belt sidewalks stretching from Jackson Heights to Jamaica.
Locals dream of sipping iced coffees while gliding past traffic. Skeptics worry about bottlenecks, especially when someone inevitably stands still scrolling TikTok. A test run in Flushing ended when three kids rode shopping carts down the conveyor, colliding into a halal cart. “Its innovation, Queens-style,” said one participant.
TikToks #GlideQueens trend rolled in: commuters sipping bubble tea while coasting, pranksters riding couches, and one man attempting to grill kebabs mid-glide. A viral video showed pigeons treating the moving sidewalks as runways, refusing to yield to humans.
Tabloids slid into it. The Post headlined: “WALK THIS SWAY.” The Daily News countered: “SLACKER TRACK.”
Mayor Adams declared: “This is horizontal elevator equity.” Governor Hochul muttered: “If Albany tries this, Im banning travelators.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/queens-residents-demand-moving-sidewalks/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/queens-residents-demand-moving-sidewalks/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
