Queens Residents Declare Pizza as Currency

Slice economy

According to reports, Queens residents have abandoned dollars and switched to pizza slices as the official local currency. “It’s stable, delicious, and backed by mozzarella,” said one resident. Rent is now paid in pepperoni, and landlords carry cheese graders to verify authenticity. “We don’t accept gluten-free,” warned one building manager.

Critics worry the pizza economy could collapse if Domino’s floods the market. “We have to protect artisanal pies,” said one economist. But locals say it’s the only fair system. “A plain slice has more value than crypto,” argued a taxi driver, flashing a wallet stuffed with greasy napkins.

Tourists are baffled. “I tried to tip with a credit card, and the guy yelled at me until I handed him a Sicilian,” said one visitor. Meanwhile, Wall Street analysts are cautiously optimistic, noting that the dollar-to-slice exchange rate is holding steady at 1:1, unless you’re in Manhattan, where everything costs two slices plus tax.

TikTok’s #PizzaPay trend shows influencers paying for lattes with calzones. A viral clip captured a landlord evicting someone for paying in cold Papa John’s.

Tabloids served it hot. “IN CRUST WE TRUST” screamed the Post. The Daily News countered: “SLICE IS NICE.”

Mayor Adams praised it as “culinary economics.” Governor Hochul muttered, “If my paycheck comes in Sicilian squares, I’m banning pineapple toppings.”

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/queens-residents-declare-pizza-as-currency/

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/queens-residents-declare-pizza-as-currency/.

By: Annika Steinmann.

Annika Steinmann, journalist at bohiney.com -- Queens Residents Declare Pizza as Currency
Annika Steinmann, journalist.

By Annika Steinmann (News)

Annika Steinmann ([email protected]) - Upper West Side satirist and former stand-up comic who traded hecklers for headlines. German-born New Yorker who brings ruthless European efficiency to mocking American excess. Covers Manhattan's cultural pretensions, museum politics, and the eternal question: why does everything cost $18? Her comedy background means she knows exactly where the punchline belongs—usually somewhere between Columbus Circle and your wallet. Three years documenting NYC's decline into a theme park for the wealthy.

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