Set ketchup prices sky high
The wiener wars have escalated. According to reports, New York Citys hot dog vendors have formed a cartel, colluding to raise condiment prices and declaring ketchup the new “liquid gold.”
“Its supply and demand,” said one vendor near Times Square. “You want mustard? Fine, a buck. But ketchup? Thatll cost you double.” The cartel has even introduced surge pricing, where condiments cost more during Yankees games or lunch breaks.
Tourists are outraged. “I paid $19 for a hot dog with onions,” complained a man from Texas. Locals shrug, noting theyve been price-gouged since the Giuliani era. Economists warn of a looming “wiener recession,” with hot dogs becoming luxury goods rivaling caviar.
Tabloids ate it up. “DOG-EAT-DOG ECONOMY” barked the Post. The Daily News countered: “RELISH THE END.” Social media sizzled with memes of hot dogs wearing monocles. TikTok launched the #HotDogCartel challenge, where users film themselves dramatically bartering for ketchup packets.
Mayor Adams promised to investigate but admitted he “still owes a guy for relish.” Governor Hochul pledged price controls, but vendors warned theyd strike, leaving New Yorkers without their midnight Sabrett fix. Meanwhile, Staten Island declared independence with its own hot dog currency: the BunCoin.
For now, New Yorkers are stuck paying gourmet prices for street meat. As one Wall Street intern sighed while swiping his AmEx for sauerkraut: “This city really is cutthroat.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/nyc-hot-dog-vendors-form-cartel/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/nyc-hot-dog-vendors-form-cartel/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
