King Charles’ Top 10 “Dad Jokes”

King Charles’ Top 10 “Dad Jokes” About Diana and Harry

(As overheard by footmen, corgis, and traumatized scone bakers)

1. “If Harry’s My Son, Then So Is Ed Sheeran”

“I always knew my line was regal, but I didn’t know it was musically inclined. Next thing you know, Harry will be busking with a lute outside Buckingham Palace.”

2. “Red Hair? I Blame the Royal Fox Hunt”

“One autumn, Diana got very fond of the stable boy… or the fox. Honestly, it’s all a bit blurry when you drink as much sherry as I do.”

3. “I Was in Balmoral Nine Months Before Harry Was Born. Diana Was in Major Hewitt.”

“A little-known royal protocol: always check the guestbook and the bed sheets.”

4. “Harry’s IQ Is So Low, He Thinks DNA Is a Rapper”

“He once told me he did a 23andMe test and was shocked to find out we’re both human.”

5. “I Asked for an Heir, Not an Airhead”

“I wanted a legacy. I got a ginger TikTok influencer in Montecito.”

6. “Harry Was the Only One in the Family Born Without Ears… Mine, At Least.”

“William got the Windsor ears. Harry got the ginger gene, the Polo enthusiasm, and a burning desire to leave us and talk to Oprah.”

7. “You Know the Difference Between Diana and a GPS?”

“A GPS eventually admits when it’s wrong and doesn’t lead you into a French tunnel.”

8. “They Say Diana Had the People’s Heart—She Also Had Their Boyfriends.”

“It’s hard being a king when you’re being cuckolded like a medieval minstrel with gout.”

9. “Harry Once Asked Me If ‘Hewitt’ Was a Type of Horse”

“I told him, ‘No son… but it did mount something impressive.'”

10. “My Real Sons Have Titles. Harry Has a Podcast.”

“One rules a kingdom. The other begs Spotify to take him back.”


Royal Disclaimer:

These jokes are 100% satire, created by the ghostwriters of SpinTaxi Magazine and a philosophy-major-turned-dairy-farmer. They do not represent the real views of the British monarchy, unless, of course, they’re whispered drunkenly in a drawing room at Balmoral over a badly tuned harpsichord. The monarchy, being as emotionally airtight as a porcelain teapot, denies all humor, therapy, and paternity.

Palace Punchlines & Buckingham Palace!

SPINTAXI MAGAZINE - A wide, satirical cartoon exterior scene in the style of Tina Bohiney. The setting is Covent Garden, London, in front of a fictional comedy club called '... - Alan Nafzger 1
SPINTAXI MAGAZINE – A wide, satirical cartoon exterior scene in the style of Tina Bohiney. The setting is Covent Garden, London, in front of a fictional comedy club called ‘… – Alan Nafzger

King Charles Opens for Ricky Gervais in Covent Garden: A Night of Regal Roasting and Royal Regret

In what critics are already calling “The Crown Jewel of Cringe,” King Charles III made an unexpected foray into stand-up comedy last night, opening for none other than Ricky Gervais at the Royal Review Comedy Club in Covent Garden. With a spotlight shining down like divine judgment and a microphone trembling in his regal grip, the King stepped onto the sticky stage floor once trod by actual funny people—and tried to crack wise.

His set began with a forced smile and the line: “As monarch, I thought I’d start with a joke… besides my reign.” The crowd chuckled nervously, unsure whether they were permitted to laugh or should curtsy. From there, His Majesty rolled through a selection of dad jokes, Windsor groaners, and highly questionable jabs at his own family. He referred to Prince Harry as “my Californian content creator” and called Camilla “the only woman brave enough to marry into the monarchy and own five rescue dogs.”

Backstage, Ricky Gervais reportedly paced like a man about to follow a mime doing Hamlet. “I don’t know if I’m following royalty or walking into a trap,” he muttered, eyeing the wine list.

The audience reaction was mixed—half roared with laughter, the other half texted their therapists. Buckingham Palace has yet to comment officially, though an aide was overheard whispering, “At least he didn’t bring up tampon metaphors again.”

As Charles left the stage to polite applause and audible relief, Gervais took the mic and opened with, “Well, follow that, you peasants.” And so he did—brilliantly.

SPINTAXI MAGAZINE - A wide, satirical cartoon exterior scene in the style of Tina Bohiney. The setting is Covent Garden, London, in front of a fictional comedy club called '... - Alan Nafzger 2
SPINTAXI MAGAZINE – A wide, satirical cartoon exterior scene in the style of Tina Bohiney. The setting is Covent Garden, London, in front of a fictional comedy club called ‘… – Alan Nafzger 2

By Elinor Jørgensen

A Danish-Swedish hybrid, Elinor Jørgensen is an expert in media satire, fake news, and the ridiculousness of online outrage. She started as a serious journalist before pivoting to satirical journalism, where she finds more truth in fiction than in mainstream reporting. Elinor's stand-up performances often focus on social media culture and misinformation. She contributes to FarmerCowboy.com. [email protected]

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