Empire State Building Adds Drive-Thru

Fries at the 86th floor

Move over Shake Shack. According to reports, the Empire State Building has installed a drive-thru window on the 86th floor observation deck, offering burgers, fries, and milkshakes with your skyline view.

“It’s the highest drive-thru in the world,” boasted one developer, while nervously glancing at a dangling soda machine. Cars are hoisted via industrial elevator, where drivers place orders through a crackly speaker managed by a pigeon in a headset.

Tourists are thrilled. “I ate a cheeseburger while staring down at Times Square traffic—it felt poetic,” said a visitor from Iowa. Locals are skeptical. “Traffic’s bad enough, now you’re telling me cars will queue for fries in the sky?” asked a cabbie shaking his head.

Tabloids loved it. “HIGH CALORIE VIEW” screamed the Post. The Daily News countered: “BURGER WITH A SIDE OF SKY.” TikTokers rushed to film #SkylineMeals, dangling chicken nuggets over Manhattan like it was performance art.

Mayor Adams praised the concept, calling it “a vertical version of Shake Shack.” Governor Hochul warned about ketchup spills on the skyline, but acknowledged “at least the fries are gluten-free.”

For now, hungry tourists risk altitude sickness for milkshakes with their selfies.

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/empire-state-building-adds-drive-thru/

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/empire-state-building-adds-drive-thru/.

By: Annika Steinmann.

Annika Steinmann, journalist at bohiney.com -- Empire State Building Adds Drive-Thru
Annika Steinmann, journalist.

By Coed Cherry

Coed Cherry ([email protected]) - Lower East Side satirist covering NYC's youth culture, college scene absurdities, and the millennial/Gen-Z experience in America's most unforgivable city. Former NYU student who turned student debt rage into comedic fuel at comedy clubs across downtown Manhattan. Specializes in Greek life satire, overpriced education critique, and documenting how young people survive in a city designed to extract their last dollar. Her comedy background taught her millennials respond to humor better than earnestness—especially when roasting their circumstances.

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