Honk if you need a lift
According to reports, Central Parks geese have disrupted Uber and Lyft by creating their own rideshare app, “Honkr.” For just $2, commuters can grab onto a gooses back feathers and be airlifted to their destination. “Were eco-friendly and we poop less than Citi Bikes,” honked the geese CEO, flapping his wings at a press conference held on Bethesda Fountain.
Early users rave about the service. “I got from the Upper West Side to Wall Street in 15 minutes,” said a hedge fund manager clutching feathers in his briefcase. Tourists, however, are confused. “The goose bit me when I didnt tip,” complained one. Geese argue its part of their “aggressive customer service model.”
Features include “Pool Honk” where multiple passengers cling to one goose, and “Luxury Honk” featuring swans. Surge pricing applies during migration season, when geese charge triple for flights to Florida. Payment is in breadcrumbs or Venmo.
TikToks #GooseUber trend is going wild: videos show commuters holding onto flapping geese like kites, influencers faking luxury goose rides, and a viral clip of a man getting dragged into Queens after missing his stop. Central Park vendors now sell feather helmets branded with “Ride the Honk.”
Tabloids cawed. The Post wrote: “HONK IF YOURE HUNGRY.” The Daily News countered: “FOWL TRANSIT.”
Mayor Adams praised the innovation: “The pigeons shouldve thought of it first.” Governor Hochul muttered: “If upstate ducks launch a competing service, Im banning ponds.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/central-park-geese-launch-rideshare-app/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/central-park-geese-launch-rideshare-app/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
