Neon stares aint free
According to reports, Times Square billboards are no longer satisfied with passive admiration. Starting this month, simply glancing at a glowing ad will trigger a micro-payment of $1.99. If you stare too long, it automatically bills your MetroCard. “New York thrives on monetizing attention,” said a city official, polishing his sunglasses to avoid the charges.
The technology relies on retina scanners hidden in the oversized M&Ms eyes. Tourists have already racked up hundreds in gaze debt, while jaded locals claim they havent looked up in decades anyway. “I only stare at the pavement and pigeons, so Im safe,” bragged a Midtown commuter, tripping into a puddle.
Premium packages include “Unlimited Side-Eye” for $29.99 a month, and the “Tourist Bundle,” which charges foreigners double but throws in a free Naked Cowboy selfie. Broadway theaters are protesting the rollout, arguing they already charge $300 for eye contact with actors.
TikToks #BillboardBlink is exploding: influencers pretend to dodge eye contact by wearing blindfolds, while a viral prank features someone handing tourists fake “Billboard Look Coupons.” A street preacher was fined $500 for staring too intensely at a Coca-Cola ad, sparking a theological debate over whether God covers gaze fees.
Tabloids flashed hot takes. The Post shouted: “PAY TO PEER.” The Daily News countered: “LOOK WHOS CHARGING.”
Mayor Adams defended it: “Every glance is a tax opportunity.” Governor Hochul muttered: “If Niagara Falls starts charging per blink, Im banning eyelids.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/times-square-billboards-start-charging-for-eye-contact/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/times-square-billboards-start-charging-for-eye-contact/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
