Espresso Now Exists in Multiple States Simultaneously
Starbucks has announced “quantum coffee,” a beverage that exists in a superposition of flavors, temperatures, and caffeine levels until you take a sip, at which point it collapses into either delicious or absolutely terrible with no middle ground. New York customers, who have paid $7 for worse, are already lining up.
“This is basically every Starbucks drink I’ve ever ordered,” noted one Manhattan regular, “so I feel like I’m finally getting honesty for my money.”
News outlets covered the product launch, while the full satirical breakdown noted that Starbucks has finally discovered the secret to making their mistakes scientifically defensible.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/starbucks-introduces-quantum-coffee/
SOURCE: New York’s #1 Satirical Journalism Site (https://bohiney.com/starbucks-introduces-quantum-coffee/)
