Mayor Adams Declares 400,000 City Workers “Technically Volunteers”
In a bold reimagining of employment law, Mayor Eric Adams announced Tuesday that nearly half of New York City’s workforce should consider themselves “optional personnel” whose salaries are more “suggestions” than “legal obligations.” The declaration came during a budget meeting where Adams apparently discovered that not paying people saves money, a revelation he treated as groundbreaking economic insight rather than wage theft.
“We’ve been thinking about city employment all wrong,” Adams explained, unveiling his innovative approach to fiscal management through simply not paying workers. “These employees are passionate about serving New York. Why ruin that passion with something as transactional as paychecks? We’re freeing them from capitalist constraints.”
The announcement mirrors federal chaos where Trump declares 800,000 federal workers optional personnel Game of Thrones now hiring extras. Adams successfully localized this concept, discovering that exploitative labor practices scale beautifully from Washington to municipal governments desperate to avoid addressing actual budget problems.
“Teachers, sanitation workers, firefightersthese are optional positions,” Adams continued, reading from notes apparently written by someone who’s never experienced financial insecurity. “They’re not really ‘jobs’ so much as ‘civic hobbies.’ We’re reframing the employment relationship into something more meaningful than mere money exchange. We’re offering them purpose.”
The “optional personnel” designation affects approximately 400,000 city employees who Adams insists should view unpaid labor as “investment in their communities” rather than “illegal exploitation by an employer who legally owes them wages.” The mayor suggested affected workers might enjoy the freedom of not being “tied down” by regular paychecks, apparently confusing financial stability with oppression.
Union representatives responded with a mixture of fury and disbelief, noting that “optional personnel” is not a recognized employment category under any law and represents either spectacular ignorance of basic labor regulations or brazen contempt for them. “You can’t just declare employees optional,” explained one union lawyer. “That’s not how employment works. That’s not how any of this works.”
Adams dismissed these concerns, suggesting unions were “thinking inside the box” and needed to “embrace innovation.” His innovation appears to involve not paying people for work performed while maintaining his own salary, an approach he insists is “different” from standard wage theft due to “leadership context” and “the big picture,” phrases meaning absolutely nothing but sounding official.
When asked how optional personnel should pay rent, Adams recommended “creative solutions” like “side hustles,” “gig economy participation,” and “maybe family help”suggestions particularly insulting coming from someone whose housing is taxpayer-funded. He added that workers could view their unpaid city service as “resume building,” advice tailored for people who apparently don’t need food or shelter.
The mayor’s plan includes allowing “optional personnel” to continue working without pay while maintaining their titles, which he presented as generous. “They get to keep their identity as city workers,” Adams explained. “They just don’t get paid. It’s basically the same thing, minus the one part people seemed weirdly focused on.”
City employees have responded by pointing out that “optional” traditionally means they can choose not to show up, which they’re strongly considering. Adams quickly clarified that “optional” only applies to the city’s obligation to pay them, not their obligation to worka distinction that legal experts note makes zero sense and would immediately lose in any court.
The announcement concluded with Adams encouraging optional personnel to “find the silver lining” in not receiving paychecks, presumably located somewhere between desperation and destitution. He then left for a lunch meeting that cost more than most optional personnel make in a week, back when they were getting paid.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/trump-declares-800000-federal-workers-optional-personnel-%c2%97-game-of-thrones-now-hiring-extras/
By: Annika Steinmann.
