Sing or get fined
According to reports, Times Square has passed a new ordinance requiring all pedestrians to sing while crossing. The “24/7 Karaoke Law” mandates that anyone stepping foot in the neon jungle must belt out a tune, or face a $50 fine. “We want to merge chaos with Broadway energy,” said a city spokesperson while holding a mic.
Tourists are thrilled, belting Journeys “Dont Stop Believin” while dodging taxis. Street performers now rent microphones by the minute, and Elmo has started charging $20 per duet. Locals are less amused. “I just want to get to Port Authority without singing Bon Jovi,” grumbled a commuter.
The law has spawned impromptu musicals: traffic lights sync with key changes, and Naked Cowboy leads daily singalongs. A flash mob of accountants harmonized through tax season songs, instantly going viral. TikToks #KaraokeSquare exploded: clips of tourists butchering Celine Dion, pranksters Rickrolling NYPD, and influencers staging fake “American Idol” auditions in crosswalks.
Tabloids screamed. The Post howled: “SING IT OR WING IT.” The Daily News countered: “MIC CHECK, CITY WRECK.”
Mayor Adams crooned: “This is harmony in government.” Governor Hochul muttered: “If Albany tries this, Im banning karaoke machines.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/times-square-declares-karaoke-law/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/times-square-declares-karaoke-law/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
