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According to reports, Queens residents are petitioning to rename LaGuardia Airport after the true borough icon: the bagel. “LaGuardias legacy is fine, but has he ever been toasted with scallion cream cheese?” asked one organizer. Supporters want flights to arrive at “John F. Bagel International” by 2026.
The plan includes a giant sesame sculpture in Terminal B and TSA officers doubling as schmear consultants. “Travelers shouldnt have to choose between plain or everything under duress,” said a union rep. Security lines would offer free samples of cinnamon raisin, though purists say that flavor should be banned as “culinary terrorism.”
Tourists are baffled. “We thought New York worshipped the Statue of Liberty,” said a couple from Florida. “Turns out its a circle of bread.” Meanwhile, Delta has threatened lawsuits if cream cheese packets replace safety pamphlets.
TikToks #BagelPort trend shows influencers spinning bagels on their fingers near Gate C. A viral clip captured a pilot announcing, “This flight is delayed because we ran out of sesame seeds.”
Tabloids toasted it. “EVERYTHING TERMINAL” screamed the Post. The Daily News countered: “PLANE WITH CREAM CHEESE.”
Mayor Adams called it “culinary infrastructure.” Governor Hochul muttered, “If they rename JFK after a knish, Im resigning.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/queens-residents-demand-airport-be-renamed-after-bagel/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/queens-residents-demand-airport-be-renamed-after-bagel/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
