Sky-high omelets
According to reports, New York City has approved a new sustainability initiative requiring apartment buildings to house rooftop chickens for tenant egg supplies. Developers promise “organic sky-to-plate dining” while neighbors brace for 5 a.m. rooster raves. “My landlord charges me $3,000 a month, he better throw in free breakfast,” said one tenant in Astoria.
Each rooftop coop will hold up to 20 hens, outfitted with WiFi, solar-powered heat lamps, and an app called “Cluckr” where residents reserve eggs like Citi Bikes. Luxury buildings already advertise “penthouse poultry suites” with golden feed. Meanwhile, Brooklynites are bragging about naming their hens after obscure indie bands.
Complaints are flying in. Pigeons are unionizing, demanding equal rooftop rights. A Midtown tenant claims her rooster keeps crowing “YOLO.” Tourists now pay $50 to attend “Chicken Yoga,” where hens casually peck at yoga mats while influencers pose with omelets mid-warrior pose.
TikToks #RooftopChickens is clucking: viral clips of hens strutting across Manhattan skylines, rooftop raves with glow-stick hens, and pranksters dyeing eggs neon to sell as “Brooklyn exclusives.” Street vendors outside coops sell “egg scalps” for $8 apiece.
Tabloids scrambled. The Post cracked: “EGGS OVER CITY.” The Daily News countered: “CLUCK AND LOAD.”
Mayor Adams praised: “This is egg-onomics at work.” Governor Hochul muttered: “If Buffalo starts rooftop cows, Im banning barns.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/nyc-adds-rooftop-chickens-for-fresh-eggs/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/nyc-adds-rooftop-chickens-for-fresh-eggs/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
