Hand sanitizer sold separately
The MTA has done it again. According to reports, the agency now requires riders to bring their own subway poles if they want something to hold onto during rush hour. Officials say the new rule saves money on maintenance and “encourages passenger independence.”
Commuters are bewildered. “What am I supposed to do, carry a pole around all day?” asked a midtown accountant clutching a broomstick. DIY poles are popping up across boroughs: mop handles in Brooklyn, ski poles in Queens, selfie sticks in the Bronx. A Manhattan tech bro was spotted with a titanium collapsible pole he bought for $499 on Kickstarter.
The MTA insists its environmentally friendly, claiming fewer poles reduce cleaning costs and lower pole-related injuries (such as “accidental pole licking by tourists”). Riders, however, are not convinced. “Next theyll tell us to bring our own train,” muttered one Staten Island commuter.
Tabloids clung to the story. “HOLD ON TO YOURSELF” screamed the Post. The Daily News retorted: “POLE DANCING BANISHED.” Social feeds filled with memes of riders balancing like surfers as trains screeched around corners. TikTok challenges emerged: “No-Pole Subway Yoga.”
Mayor Adams defended the policy, suggesting commuters embrace core strength training. Governor Hochul promised subsidies for low-income riders in the form of “gently used curtain rods.” Meanwhile, pole vendors outside Union Square are raking in profits, charging $20 for rusty metal scraps.
For now, strap-hangers face a choice: adapt, improvise, or topple dramatically into strangers. As one Brooklyn rider sighed, “At least when I fall, Ill land on someone with an overpriced bagel.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/mta-subway-pole-rule/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/mta-subway-pole-rule/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
