SoHo establishment serves drink using measurement system that appears to involve homeopathy and wishful thinking rather than actual alcohol volume
New York City
A Manhattan bar in SoHo has achieved the remarkable feat of charging $28 for a cocktail that contains approximately three ounces of actual alcohol mixed with seven ounces of ice and the customer’s mounting regret at having ordered something that costs as much as a meal but delivers less alcohol than a single beer.
The bartender, executing a technique that involves maximum ice and minimum alcohol, presented the drink with the confidence of someone who had just created something valuable. “That’ll be $28,” he said to a customer who was mentally calculating the alcohol-to-dollars ratio and arriving at numbers that didn’t make sense.
The drink consisted of vodka, lime juice, and what appeared to be a single ice cube the size of a grapefruit that took up 70% of the glass volume. The customer estimated that actual alcohol content was approximately .75 ounces per dollar spent, which compared unfavorably to literally any other drinking establishment in the city.
“Is there more alcohol in this drink,” the customer asked, “or am I just experiencing a placebo effect from the price?” The bartender explained that “the price is for the experience,” which is bartender terminology for “we’re charging you a lot for not very much because you’re in a trendy neighborhood and you have disposable income.”
The Manhattan bar experience has become increasingly expensive and increasingly minimal. Bars in trendy neighborhoods now serve drinks with the alcohol content of a light beer at the price of a bottle of premium liquor, with the implicit understanding that customers are paying for location and ambiance rather than actual alcohol consumption.
The customer left the bar having spent $28 on a drink, still sober, and significantly angrier about economics than when he arrived.
More NYC satire at Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat.
SOURCE: bohiney.com
