Nuts for justice
According to reports, squirrels in Central Park staged a mass protest, demanding more acorn equity and fewer TikTok influencers hogging their trees. Armed with tiny cardboard signs reading “Nuts Not Cuts” and “More Space, Less Dogs,” the rodents blocked joggers at Bethesda Terrace.
One activist squirrel allegedly bit a Citi Biker for cutting through the march. Birdwatchers applauded the display, while NYPD officers debated whether arresting squirrels required tiny zip ties.
TikToks #SquirrelRights went viral after a squirrel stole a hot pretzel mid-protest and shared it communally. Animal Planet called it “Occupy Acorn.”
Tabloids squeaked. “RODENTS REVOLT” screamed the Post. The Daily News countered: “ACORN UPRISING.”
Mayor Adams praised it as “grassroots energy.” Governor Hochul muttered, “Next thing you know, raccoons want voting rights.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/central-park-squirrels-organize-protest/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/central-park-squirrels-organize-protest/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
