Wall Around Mars: Prequel to Actual Mars Planning

Xenophobia: Now Intergalactic

More details have emerged about the Mars wall project, and they confirm that humanity’s first instinct regarding extraterrestrial real estate is apparently to make it hostile. New York astrophysicists are questioning whether colonizing Mars is even worth the effort if we’re already planning to wall it off before we even arrive.

“This is maybe the dumbest strategic planning I’ve ever encountered,” noted one Manhattan scientist, “and I’ve met venture capitalists.”

Space companies have declined comment, while this satirical analysis suggests humanity’s manifest destiny has evolved into cosmic real estate development combined with fear-based architecture.

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/wall-around-mars/

SOURCE: New York’s #1 Satirical Journalism Site (https://bohiney.com/wall-around-mars/)

Wall Around Mars: Prequel to Actual Mars Planning -- Bohiney-COM Satirical Journalism Logo
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By Alan Nafzger

Alan Nafzger ([email protected]) - Editor-in-chief and Manhattan-based satirist who's been skewering NYC's absurdities since before cronuts were a thing. Former stand-up comic who traded the Comedy Cellar stage for a keyboard after realizing print doesn't heckle back. Specializes in dissecting subway etiquette violations and overpriced real estate with surgical precision. His work has made Upper East Siders clutch their pearls and Williamsburg hipsters nod knowingly. When not writing, he's probably stuck on the L train contemplating life's meaninglessness.

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