Poodles with homework
According to reports, an elite prep school on the Upper East Side has launched a program for dogs. Tuition runs $42,000 a year, uniforms include cashmere sweaters, and classes range from “Advanced Fetch” to “Intro to Barkonomics.” “We wanted to give pups the Ivy League advantage,” said the headmaster, petting a golden retriever valedictorian.
Parents are thrilled. “If my child doesnt get into Yale, maybe the dachshund will,” said one socialite juggling a latte and a leash. Students must submit paw-written essays and undergo obedience interviews. The school mascot is, of course, a Labradoodle wearing a blazer.
Controversy erupted when a bulldog plagiarized his essay by chewing up Shakespeare and regurgitating it on paper. Meanwhile, a Chihuahua staged a hunger strike after failing Latin. Alumni parents are already lobbying for college credit recognition at Columbia.
TikToks #DogPrepSchool is trending: poodles taking standardized tests with Scantron chew toys, golden retrievers wearing graduation caps, and viral pranks where bulldogs submit blank homework with paw prints. Pet boutiques now sell “prep school backpacks” for $900.
Tabloids barked. The Post howled: “FETCHING EDUCATION.” The Daily News countered: “PAW SCHOLARS.”
Mayor Adams smirked: “This is how we keep New York leading in innovation.” Governor Hochul muttered: “If Buffalo starts cat prep schools, Im banning yarn.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/upper-east-side-dogs-enroll-in-prep-school/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/upper-east-side-dogs-enroll-in-prep-school/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
