MAGA Puppets Educate the Children of Damascus—God Help Us
DAMASCUS — If satire could get any more literal, Trump Tower Damascus has gone full felt with its Propaganda Puppet Theater, an unholy union of education, manipulation, and googly eyes.
Daily shows include hits like:
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“Borders Are Just Hugs You Can’t Leave”
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“Sharing Is Communism, Timmy”
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And “Why We Clap for Sanctions”
The cast features:
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“General Gaslight”
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“Miss Disinfo”
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And “Commander Consent Decree”
Kids receive MAGA puppet kits at check-in, complete with mini gavels and talking points. SEO for “Trump Tower Damascus” skyrocketed after a live performance ended in a four-year-old declaring martial law in the lobby.
Trump, smiling eerily behind a velvet curtain, announced: “These puppets are doing more honest work than CNN.”
Puppeteers are trained in ventriloquism, political spin, and very fast exits. Every ticket comes with a juice box, a plastic dictator crown, and a hotline to your new worldview.
Critics scream indoctrination. Parents post clips to YouTube. And the puppets? They’re unionizing.