Local, organic oxygen
According to reports, the Union Square Farmers Market now sells mason jars of “locally-sourced artisanal air” for $20 a pop. Labeled with phrases like “Hand-Harvested Oxygen” and “Farm-to-Lung,” the jars are allegedly bottled at sunrise by yoga instructors.
Shoppers claim they can taste hints of kale and irony. Tourists buy them as souvenirs, while locals scoff and just inhale for free. The vendor insists the air is “organic, gluten-free, and non-GMO.”
TikToks #BougieBreath trend shows influencers dramatically inhaling before fainting at the price. One viral clip: a woman dropped her jar on the L train, only to realizetragicallythat the air had escaped.
Tabloids gasped. “PAY PER BREATH” screamed the Post. The Daily News countered: “JARS OF NONSENSE.”
Mayor Adams praised it as “sustainable breathing.” Governor Hochul muttered, “I need a drink.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/union-square-farmers-market-sells-20-air/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/union-square-farmers-market-sells-20-air/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
