Now accepts MetroCards as passports
In a bold move no one asked for, reports confirm that the Staten Island Ferry has declared itself an independent nation, demanding MetroCards be presented as passports upon boarding. The ferrys new anthem, a remixed foghorn, debuted at the secession ceremony where seagulls were sworn in as ministers of defense.
“Weve always been more than a boat,” declared Captain Sal, now self-proclaimed Prime Minister. “Were a sovereign nation that happens to commute twice an hour.” Staten Island leaders cheered, hoping this move would finally make tourists stop asking if theyre in New Jersey.
Passengers were shocked when customs agentsretired turnstile operatorsstamped their MetroCards with expired ink pads. One commuter said, “I just wanted to get to work. Now Ive accidentally immigrated.” The ferry nation now requires declarations of duty-free bagels and proof of residency via Dunkin Donuts receipts.
Tabloids jumped ship. “FERRY GOES ROGUE” shrieked the Post. The Daily News countered: “S.S. CHAOS.” Social media erupted with memes of ferries wearing tiny crowns, captioned “Queen Mary? Meet King Staten.” TikTok launched the trend #FerryPassport, where users role-play as border agents asking, “Sir, do you have anything to declare besides cream cheese?”
Mayor Adams tried to intervene but was denied entry after failing to produce a MetroCard with sufficient balance. Governor Hochul promised negotiations if the ferry stops charging extra for coffee. Meanwhile, Staten Island residents are divided: half are proud citizens of the Ferry Nation, while the other half are annoyed their commute now includes customs paperwork.
As one commuter summed it up: “Its still free. But now its free with nationalism.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/staten-island-ferry-declares-independence/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/staten-island-ferry-declares-independence/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
