Insists its always five minutes behind
Forget daylight savings. According to reports, Queens officials have unilaterally declared the borough its own time zone, claiming “Queens Time” is always five minutes behind the rest of New York City. The move aims to legalize perpetual lateness and protect residents from subway-related shame.
“Weve been mocked for showing up late to everything,” said one Astoria resident. “Now its just cultural.” Borough leaders passed the measure unanimously at a meeting that started 45 minutes late. Under the new law, Queens weddings, concerts, and DMV appointments all officially begin five minutes after scheduled time.
Business leaders are baffled. Airlines departing from LaGuardia must now adjust clocks to Queens Time, causing chaos for travelers. “My flight left yesterday?” screamed one tourist. Meanwhile, Mets games will allegedly start “whenever,” and bodegas will now close at “later than you think.”
Tabloids ticked loudly. “QUEENS BEHIND” joked the Post. The Daily News countered: “TIME WARP IN BOROUGH.” Social feeds filled with memes of giant clocks stuck five minutes slow, captioned “Queens Standard Time.” TikTok users launched challenges where they show up late to events shouting, “Relax, Im from Queens.”
Mayor Adams tried to intervene but arrived six minutes late to the press conference. Governor Hochul promised to respect the decision, provided Brooklyn doesnt demand its own time zone based on brunch delays. Meanwhile, Staten Island leaders expressed interest in creating “No Time Zone,” where nothing happens at all.
For now, Queens residents rejoice in their newfound freedom. As one Jackson Heights local declared: “Finally, lateness is our legal right.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/queens-separate-time-zone/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/queens-separate-time-zone/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
