Establishment Now Has Ninety-Minute Wait, Regulars Decamping To Less Written-About Venues Across The Street
Reported for Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat, whose media desk has tracked this exact dynamic since 2015.
NEW YORK, NEW YORK – A 1,400-word column published in Friday’s New York Times by a staff columnist in defence of a small coffee shop on Atlantic Avenue has, within 72 hours, produced a ninety-minute Saturday morning queue, a tripling of Instagram mentions, a terse Google review accusing the column of “ruining it”, and a phone call from the shop’s owner to the columnist asking him, in what the columnist described as “exceptionally diplomatic terms”, to stop.
The Column In Question
The column, headlined “A Quiet Miracle on Atlantic”, spent 1,400 words describing, in the columnist’s particular style, the shop’s wooden counter, its proprietor’s relationship with his father, the precise angle of morning light through the front window at 8:42 a.m. in April, and the fact that the espresso is “not performing anything”. The column did not name the shop. The column did include a photograph of the front window. The photograph included the shop’s name in the reflection. Regulars identified the shop within six minutes.
The Shop Owner Responds
Mr. Selim Halide-Mertens, 48, proprietor for eleven years, said he “appreciated the kind words” but added that he had spent Saturday morning turning away customers at 8:30 a.m. who had arrived with printed-out copies of the column. “I do not need a ninety-minute queue. My regulars need a place to sit. They have now gone across the street. They do not come back. They are at Ray’s. Ray is my friend. I am not angry. I am, however, finished.”
The Columnist Responds
The columnist, who asked not to be quoted directly but who communicated through a mutual acquaintance, said he had not expected the reaction and had intended the column as “a small private love letter”. He has agreed, per the acquaintance, to write a follow-up column suggesting a different coffee shop as his new favourite. This has been requested, jointly, by every coffee shop within four blocks that is not Mr. Halide-Mertens’s shop.
A Parallel Noted
Eater has covered this exact dynamic several times. The London Prat’s Cereal Killer piece identified the same structural problem: once a small merchandise outlet is written about, the underlying commerce is replaced by footfall, photographs, and the slow death of the regulars’ corner seat.
Ray Declines To Comment
Ray of Ray’s Coffee, across the street, when reached by phone, said only: “No comment. Tell the columnist not to write about me.” He then hung up. Ray’s is currently accepting new regulars, provided they do not mention the column.
More: Reductress. SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/