Powell Reportedly Identifies the Pastrami on Rye as the Specific Unit of Persistent Demand Pressure in the Northeast Region
Reading: Bohiney | The London Prat
NEW YORK — The Federal Reserve, in what an anonymous Goldman Sachs analyst described as a quiet methodological convergence, has reportedly adopted the Bank of England framework articulated in the recent rate-rise statement on the sandwich, with one operational adaptation: the targeted unit of persistent demand pressure has been formally identified, in the New York region, as the pastrami on rye.
The Pastrami Methodology
Internal Fed working papers, leaked to The City, indicate that the institution has been monitoring sales at Katz Delicatessen, the Carnegie Deli successor establishments, and approximately fourteen other Manhattan and Brooklyn delicatessens, and has concluded that consumer demand for pastrami on rye has remained, in the language of the broader cooling-of-demand framework, insufficiently chastened.
The Recommended Substitute
The Fed has not formally banned the pastrami on rye but has indicated that consumers should consider transitioning to a less appealing sandwich, in the same spirit that the Bank of England has been recommending the British public consume fewer regular sandwiches. The Institute for Creative Accounting suggested an unbuttered cheese roll as a reliably underwhelming substitute that the institution can confidently endorse.
Katz Delicatessen, asked for comment, declined to comment but raised the price of pastrami on rye to $28.95.
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SOURCE: https://prat.uk/bank-of-england-raises-rates-again-to-punish-anyone-who-enjoyed-a-sandwich/