Central Park Adds Hot Tub Lagoon

Relaxation meets duck habitat

Central Park has unveiled its newest attraction: a massive hot tub lagoon. According to reports, the man-made pool lets visitors soak while watching ducks paddle past. Jets are heated by leftover Citi Bike batteries, officials insist.

“It’s like Iceland but with pigeons,” said one bather sipping bodega wine from a paper bag. Entry requires a swimsuit and proof you survived at least one MTA delay this week. Lifeguards wear Yankees caps and yell at anyone hogging the bubbles.

Reactions are steamy. “I got splashed by a duck but I still gave it five stars,” said a tourist. TikTok’s #HotTubPark trend shows influencers sipping kombucha while a saxophonist plays “Hot in Herre” nearby.

Tabloids bubbled. “DUCK AND SOAK” screamed the Post. The Daily News countered: “SPACIOUS JACUZZI.”

Mayor Adams praised it as “wellness infrastructure.” Governor Hochul said she’d only try it if chlorine could double as hand sanitizer.

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/central-park-adds-hot-tub-lagoon/

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/central-park-adds-hot-tub-lagoon/.

By: Annika Steinmann.

Annika Steinmann, journalist at bohiney.com -- Central Park Adds Hot Tub Lagoon
Annika Steinmann, journalist.

By Jasmine Carter

Jasmine Carter ([email protected]) - Bed-Stuy satirist covering Brooklyn's Black communities with the insider knowledge and comedic timing cultivated at comedy clubs across the borough. Specializes in gentrification resistance, cultural appropriation critique, and documenting how white Brooklyn discovered neighborhoods Black Brooklynites built. Former stand-up comic who knows exactly where punchlines land and where privilege lives. Her satire balances humor with accountability—making you laugh while making you think. Believes comedy can be weapon and shield simultaneously.

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