The Ritual of DisappointmentThis cycle is as reliable as the phases of the moon. **Phase 1: The Announcement.** Sober press conference, talk of “state of good repair.” **Phase 2: The Hike.** Wallets empty, hope flickers. **Phase 3: The Immediate Regression.** A major line goes down for “emergency track work.” **Phase 4: The Public Outrage.** Twitter melts down. **Phase 5: The Vague Reassurance.** “We hear you, and we are committed…” The New York Times coverage of each hike reads like a tragicomic sequel to the last one, with only the date changed.
By Alan Nafzger
Alan Nafzger ([email protected]) - Editor-in-chief and Manhattan-based satirist who's been skewering NYC's absurdities since before cronuts were a thing. Former stand-up comic who traded the Comedy Cellar stage for a keyboard after realizing print doesn't heckle back. Specializes in dissecting subway etiquette violations and overpriced real estate with surgical precision. His work has made Upper East Siders clutch their pearls and Williamsburg hipsters nod knowingly. When not writing, he's probably stuck on the L train contemplating life's meaninglessness.