Tech Mogul Explores Final Frontier, Ignores IRS
Billionaire tech entrepreneur Brayden Muskerson III returned from his $450 million joyride to the edge of space this week, touching down safely in Texas while his unpaid tax bill orbited somewhere around $2.3 billion back on Earth.
Muskerson, who made his fortune selling an app that delivers other apps, spent eight minutes experiencing weightlessnessapproximately the same amount of time his accountants spend annually filling out his tax returns with creative deductions. “Being in space really puts things in perspective,” he told reporters, apparently referring to everything except his civic responsibilities.
The IRS released a tersely worded statement noting that while they appreciate Muskerson’s contribution to space tourism, they’d appreciate his contribution to infrastructure, schools, and healthcare even more. The agency added that “traveling to space doesn’t count as relocating to a tax haven,” though several billionaires are reportedly consulting lawyers about this.
New York tax attorneys are unsurprised. “Rich guys dodge taxes the way normal people dodge subway dancers,” explained Manhattan CPA Rebecca Winters. “Except when you dodge a subway dancer, at least you’re not defunding public schools.” She noted that Muskerson’s space company received $340 million in government contracts, effectively meaning taxpayers funded his vacation.
Muskerson defended his tax strategy, claiming his space mission was “for the benefit of humanity.” When pressed on how eight minutes of floating helps humanity more than properly funded social services, he reportedly adjusted his designer space suit and left the press conference in his $3 million hypercar.
The billionaire is already planning his next space trip, scheduled for next quarterconveniently timed with his next tax deadline. His spokesperson insists this is “purely coincidental” and that Muskerson takes his fiscal obligations “very seriously, just not literally.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/billionaire-space-tourist-returns-to-earth-still-hasnt-paid-his-taxes/
SOURCE: New York’s #1 Satirical Journalism Site (https://bohiney.com/billionaire-space-tourist-returns-to-earth-still-hasnt-paid-his-taxes/)
