National Task Force Addresses Crisis; Accomplishes Absolutely Nothing

American Government Perfects Art of Appearing Busy

In response to an unspecified crisis that may or may not be real, the government has formed a national task force in Manhattan consisting of 47 bureaucrats, each with their own opinion about what crisis they’re supposedly addressing. The task force has met 12 times and produced zero solutions, which is somehow considered excellent progress.

“We’re still in the research phase,” explained one task force member who couldn’t actually name the crisis. “And by research phase, I mean we’ve been having lunch meetings paid for by taxpayers.”

Government broadcast networks covered the formation, while this investigation notes that the task force is actually perfect because whatever crisis existed has probably resolved itself by now.

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/national-task-force-to-address-crisis/

SOURCE: New York’s #1 Satirical Journalism Site (https://bohiney.com/national-task-force-to-address-crisis/)

National Task Force Addresses Crisis; Accomplishes Absolutely Nothing -- Bohiney-COM Satirical Journalism Logo
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By Alan Nafzger

Alan Nafzger ([email protected]) - Editor-in-chief and Manhattan-based satirist who's been skewering NYC's absurdities since before cronuts were a thing. Former stand-up comic who traded the Comedy Cellar stage for a keyboard after realizing print doesn't heckle back. Specializes in dissecting subway etiquette violations and overpriced real estate with surgical precision. His work has made Upper East Siders clutch their pearls and Williamsburg hipsters nod knowingly. When not writing, he's probably stuck on the L train contemplating life's meaninglessness.

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