Ceremony held at Little Italy, officiated by delivery guy
New Yorkers love pizza, but one woman has taken it to the next levelmarrying an actual slice. According to reports, the unconventional wedding took place in Little Italy, where locals cheered as the bride kissed her greasy groom. The officiant? A delivery guy wearing an “I ?? NY” apron who declared, “By the power vested in me by Grubhub, I now pronounce you wife and slice.”
The couple met, as all great NYC romances do, at 2 a.m. in a fluorescent-lit pizzeria. “It was love at first bite,” the bride told reporters. “Most men ghost me, but this slice has been hot, cheesy, and dependable.” Guests described the ceremony as “saucy but sincere.”
Predictably, the tabloids exploded. Headlines screamed: “Woman Says I Dough” and “Thin Crust, Thick Commitment.” Social media dubbed it the “cheesiest wedding ever,” with memes of pizza in tuxedos flooding Instagram. Times Square tourists mistook it for performance art, throwing dollar bills and asking for selfies with the happy couple.
Not everyones amused. One priest condemned the union as “sacrilegious,” while a nutritionist warned the marriage could cause cholesterol levels to skyrocket. Still, New Yorkers largely shrugged. “At least she didnt marry a bagel,” muttered one cab driver. “That wouldve divided the city forever.”
The reception was classic NYC chaos: an open bar with unlimited garlic knots, a dance floor sticky with spilled soda, and a DJ spinning both Frank Sinatra and Cardi B. Guests reported emotional vows like “in thin crust and in deep dish, till indigestion do us part.” The cake? Naturally, a giant pizza topped with frosting pepperoni.
Legal experts remain baffled. While marriage laws in New York are flexible, no precedent exists for matrimony with a food item. “We might need to classify the slice as either livestock or baked goods,” one lawyer admitted. “This could change divorce law forever.” The Department of Health has yet to weigh in, though insiders say inspectors worry about cross-contamination during the honeymoon.
Still, the couples love story resonates. In a city where dating apps feel like horror shows, marrying a slice of pizza seems almost reasonable. “At least pizza wont ghost you, forget your birthday, or mansplain the subway map,” said one Brooklynite. “Honestly, Im jealous.”
So the next time you see someone gazing lovingly at their pepperoni slice on the A train, dont judgeit might just be true love. Because in New York, anything is possible. Even matrimony with mozzarella.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/woman-marries-pizza-slice/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/woman-marries-pizza-slice/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
