“30 seconds or its yours”
Move over Seamless. According to reports, New York City rats have launched their own pizza delivery service, promising record-breaking speed and “authentic sidewalk flavor.” Known as RatDash, the rodent-run startup guarantees delivery in under 30 secondsthough customers must meet couriers in the nearest alleyway.
The service went viral after a video of a rat dragging a full pepperoni slice down a subway staircase was rebranded as “promo material.” Since then, demand has skyrocketed. “These rats are faster than Grubhub, cheaper than Uber Eats, and scarier than DoorDash,” said one satisfied customer.
Rats say the service provides upward mobility in the rodent community, offering benefits like crust allowances and hazard pay for dodging pigeons. “Were entrepreneurs,” squeaked one rat CEO. “The city left us scraps. We turned them into a franchise.”
Tabloids chomped down. “SLICE STRIKE” yelped the Post. The Daily News countered: “DELIVERY WITH TEETH.” Social media flooded with memes of rats in delivery hats. A TikTok challenge dared users to order RatDash and film themselves chasing couriers through subway tunnels.
Mayor Adams tried to shut the service down, citing sanitation violations. Governor Hochul called it “disturbing but innovative.” Pizza shops, however, are furious. “They undercut us by gnawing through boxes and delivering half-slices,” complained one Bronx owner. Tourists, meanwhile, cant get enough. “Its disgusting, but its so New York,” gushed a visitor from Kansas.
For now, RatDash thrives in the shadows, delivering piping hot (and slightly chewed) pies at lightning speed. As one Brooklyn local shrugged: “At least the rats are working now.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/nyc-rats-pizza-delivery/
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/nyc-rats-pizza-delivery/.
By: Annika Steinmann.
